Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Nothing to report
Just some lyrics that I'm digging on today.
Artist: Common
Album: Be
Track: Love is...
[Chorus]
How beautiful love can be
On the streets love is hard to see
It's a place I got to be
Loving you is loving me
How beautiful love can be
On the streets love is hard to see
Gotta reach that frequency
Loving you is loving me
[Verse 1]
Yeah, you know what love is
Even found it on the ground where the thugs live
My man had to dig deep to find his
Couldn't sleep 'cause on the real he had five kids
Live nig's, real niggaz express and taste it
At crap games, black dames and big faces
Cases in court, fam' showin' love and support
You and your baby's mom thought that love was a sport
As men we were taught to hold it in
That's why we don't know how 'til we're older men
If love is a place I'ma go again
At least now, now I know to go within
At time it can take ya for a spin
Heartbreak hotel then you're home again
I've seen love make a nigga soul pretend
Like a story that he don't want to end
[Chorus]
[Verse 2]
It's all love where we come from
In the hood love we was told to run from
That same hood where the guns sung
We holla love, hopin' it would come one
Crack got so many lives undone
From lack of love many hide some run
I knew this girl with a son who dreamt of actin' in plays
Demonstration with her man had her trapped in a maze
Tryin' to find herself again, much of that she'd have gave
Love can free us, to it some of us react as a slave
Funny, we love 'em more when they're relaxed in a grave
Wonder if a thug is raw, is he actin' afraid?
Everybody loves sun, why do I attract shade?
Heard of the love of money, but compassion it pays
Talk about it with my youth so she'd understand
What it is to be loved by a man
[Chorus]
Some say that I'm a dreamer 'cause I talk about it often
Seen the hardest nigga soften wit' his homie in a coffin
We walk and stand in, fall in it
With the right companion we all in it
Mary sang a song about it, having broad limits
In the game of life, it's the scrimage
Reminiscing on letters I wrote in my small days
A letter to the people, love always
[Chorus]
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Richard Hammond's return to Top Gear
Few of you will care, but I was certainly very impressed. Richard Hammond was involved in a 288mph crash only months ago. He's now back on the air and apparently none the worse for wear. This is an excerpt from tonight's Top Gear broadcast on BBC2. The cast discusses the crash, watches his first two successful passes, and finally the crash. 314mph is the fastest anyone's ever gone in the UK, but Funny Cars and Top Fuelers routinely pass 330mph from a standing start in the quarter mile. I'm not diminishing what Hammond, who is affectionately known as "Hamster", went through, just giving some perspective on the incredible speeds and dangers being faced in motorsports today.
Working the Way
Goddamn have I been busy. Between the usual work and working out, I'm now doubled down on drawing projects each week. Pile on the weekly reading/project requirements for my marketing class, and I'm barely treading water.
I think I've come to the conclusion that hope is life's ultimate paradoxical concept. It can sustain us, or it can whither our spirits. The longer you hold on to hope, despite overwhelming evidence that it would be better to just let go, the more tortured the circuitous inner dialog you maintain will become. Then you run into people or circumstances that exacerbate the push-pull of your thoughts and what was already a disenchanting line of thought metamorphoses into something altogether melancholy and exhausting. What am I talking about? None of your business. :)
Today I'm grooving to Teddybears, an electronic band of as yet unknown origins (I'm too lazy to look them up). Cadillac made a commercial for their new XLR featuring Teddybear's track "Punkrocker", which includes vocals by Iggy Pop. To say the song is catchy would be like saying Iggy Pop is looking a little thin these days. Check the commercial below and tell me you aren't headed directly to your nearest torrent site for a quick download.
Looking at this spot with my limited knowledge of marketing, I have to say that it is a brilliant piece of audio-visual advertising. The track suits the imagery perfectly..."See me driving down the street/I'm bored with looking good"...and associating Caddies with maturing punk rockers is a stroke of genius. I wouldn't drive the XLR, but I will admit to liking the CTS-V quite a bit. Would I pay $50k for said sedan? No, but then I will have spent nearly that on my Subaru, once parts, labor, repairs, etc are all factored in. Something else to think about...
Aside from work, school, and sleep, my life has more or less ground to a halt. Things at the office continue to decline, as morale is at an all-time low and sinking fast. More work, less money, and sweeping change are stressing the entire department. We're still one person short, still training the new girl, and could potentially be losing another analyst to a field job...which of course pays better than what we are able to offer. The situation is becoming rather pathetic. Out of necessity, The Chancellor and I are bearing most of the burden right now, as we push to get New Girl up to speed. Who knows when we'll fill the empty cubicle next to hers. Fun stuff! It seems like only yesterday I liked my job and enjoyed going to the office...the only constant is change, I suppose.
Labels: general, life, school, video, work
Sunday, January 21, 2007
I think I'm in love
It was the last thing I expected when I walked through the door. My mission was information gathering for a school project, but when I came around the corner, there she was. At first, I tried to ignore her, but for some reason I was compelled to start working my way across the room. As most of you know, I'm almost always hesitant about these sorts of things. More often than not I will let an opportunity to do the "get to know you" thing pass me by, but for whatever reason, I was feeling inspired, so I walked over and got a closer look.
She was long and lean, decked out in simple black and blue. I could tell by looking at her that she was more about substance than quick fixes. Her body language told me all I needed to know. For the first time in a long while, I was keenly curious, so I got within arm's reach, turned toward her and ran my figure tips over her gas tank and fenders. The black paint coating this particular Harley-Davidson FXSTD Softail Deuce's scant surfaces was exactly what the doctor ordered to get me thinking about a different form of mechanized transcendentalism.
The last girl I dated rode a Honda 600F4i. This was actually one of the first things that drew my attention toward her. After all, not many women ride sport bikes, and I have to admit that seeing a 105lb girl riding around on a motorcycle is a sexy thing to a motorhead like myself. Inevitably, as we became more serious, I started thinking about how nice it would be to have a bike of my own. My particular favorite was the Suzuki GSX-R750, a bit more than recommended for a starter bike, but not overkill (pun intended), like a Yamaha R1 or Honda 1000RR surely would be. Motorcycle girl and I parted ways before I had worked up the time and money to make my motorcycle musings a reality, so the plan went to the back burner. Then I wounded Scooby and reignited my scholastic fires. Motorcycling was pushed to the more rearward section of my brain. That is until I walked into Fletcher's Harley-Davidson in Clearwater this past Saturday.
My original plan was to pick up some marketing info for a group project at school. It was supposed to be a quick information gathering, contact building thing, but I got sidetracked. I was originally looking at some Dyna's, a matte finish, Pacific Blue Denim, Street Bob catching my eye in particular, but I have always had a soft spot for Softails. My dad has ridden a Sportster for years, and for years I have tried to get him to step up to a Softail Custom or Low Rider, but he was always satisfied with his slightly modded 1200. I, on the other hand, am most interested in this Just enough chrome to be unmistakably Harley, but no so much additional bling that it looks tacky. The two-tone, Jake Blue and Elwood Blue Sunglo (who the Hell comes up with these names?) would match my car nicely. The 96cid V-twin and 6-speed transmission might not be cutting edge, high revving tech, but I'm beginning to realize that I would rather have a bike to cruise away from humanity's monotony, relaxing as I enjoy the lesser used roads this world has to offer, than to be hunched over in a near fetal position, flicking my RPM happy 4-cylinder through curve after curve. I like sportbikes, fast=good after all, but I find myself drawn to Harley-Davidson's "enjoy the ride" approach more and more. I can almost feel my wallet getting lighter...
Once Scooby's new hardware is in place, she will be plenty fast. If all goes well, she will be making a daily driveable, 500bhp and should weigh around 3000lbs. How much faster do I really need to go? Harley-Davidson offers something different and something I see as more appealing. Maybe I'm just getting old. Whatever the case may be, a Softail Deuce might be my next mechanical acquisition, once Scooby's squared away. I'm sure pops would approve.
Labels: life, motorcycles
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Artificial sphincters as social commentary
I am a long-time Loveline listener, though I rarely catch the show these days. It just so happens that I had the radio on the other night when Dr. Drew mentioned something I was not aware existed, the artificial sphincter. Apparently, and this is strictly based on my memory of what Dr. Drew mentioned near the show's conclusion, 25,000 artificial sphincters were surgically installed in American anuses last year. That number seems absurd to me, but that's what I remember hearing. So where's the social commentary come in?
Well, Dr. Drew was pondering the possibility that a significant number of young ladies, and gay males, may end up in need of their own artificial, anal-dam device. The wear and tear of having a penis rammed up one's manure main street has been known to do enough muscle damage to cause what is affectionately known as fecal incontinence. Which is to say, there is scientific evidence that being anally invaded on a regular basis can lead to the development of a condition which sees the unfortunate sufferer rendered incapable of restraining life's most unpleasant, organic byproduct. For a little anal love today, shyte your pants uncontrollably tomorrow.
This is almost too good to be true! lol Now don't get me wrong, I fully empathize with those who develop fecal incontinence as a result of some physical abnormality, accidental (non-sexual) sphincter injury, or just plain bad luck, but the thought of Jenna Jameson being unable to hold back a deuce because she was busy getting steamrolled in the anal canal for most of her 20s is laugh out loud stuff! It doesn't get much more lowbrow, I'll admit, but how do you not laugh at a supposed sex symbol shitting her pants? For my money, that's good funny.
The irony here is that, for most guys I've known, giving a girl an anal exam with their penis had a lot less to do with exploring sexuality and lot more to do with making a power statement. News bulletin ladies, most guys laugh to their buddies when they talk about venturing in the out door. Chances are, if your man is entering no man's land, it's probably because his ego needs some affirmation, while yours takes a hit or two. Of course this is all just my opinion...maybe it really is a lovely loving thing.
The few girls I know who admit to having done the doodoo dance have universally stated that it hurts, at least the first time, and I can't think of a more unpleasant place to put one's penis than someone's colon, so it's definitely not the sexiest act either party could be engaging in. Even if you disregard all of that, the fact remains that the poop shoot is overrun by bacteria, the mechanics of the entire area are designed specifically for elimination, not intrusion, and generally speaking, the anus is a fairly unpleasant area to visit. Of course, that doesn't stop some people from stuffing penii, bottles, light bulbs, etc up there, though their motivations will forever mystify me.
To each their own, I suppose. But take a moment to imagine a world of anal aficionados walking the streets with inflatable, artificial sphincters restraining their fecal flow and ask yourself, is this the sexiest, most physically enlightened age ever, or what? :)
Labels: commentary, loveline, sphincter
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Wrecked exotics vid...
Because rich people destroy more expensive cars. :) Music is not work friendly.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Jacques Villeneuve to drive Peugeot
Most, if not all, of the people reading this probably won't care about the following, but for someone who has followed Jacques career since he entered Indycar long ago, this is good news. First, a brief history lesson...
Jacques Villeneuve was once a prodigy. The son of racing legend Gilles Villeneuve, Jacques made a substantial mark of his own by becoming the youngest Indy 500 and Indycar champion in 1995. Subsequently, he was pegged by Frank Williams to race for Williams-Renault for the 1996 Formula One season. To everyone's surprise, Villeneuve took pole and nearly won his inaugural race! He would go on to finish second behind teammate Damon Hill that season. He even managed to outpace the vastly more experienced Briton several times during the season. 1997 would see JV win the driver's championship, taking 7 race victories from 17 races, thereby cementing the Villeneuve legend and his own legacy in Formula One.
Unfortunately, Villeneuve's fortunes would quickly take a turn for the worse. 1998 saw Williams in the unfamiliar role of heavy underdog, and the team was plagued by mechanical, as well as personal, issues. Renault, who had supplied Williams with incredible racing engines for most of the 90s, left the sport as a full-time supplier. The team's lead aerodynamicist, Adrian Newey - something of a legend in his own right - left for McLaren-Mercedes the year before. Williams was struggling mightily and the future began to look bleak, as Villeneuve's relationship with the team became strained. It was right around this time that Jacques' manager was putting together a partnership that would ultimately make British American Racing, or BAR, a reality. Villeneuve would jump ship to race for the startup team, making huge amounts of money in the process, but he would not ever see the sort of success he had experienced with Williams. After several seasons, BAR sold to Honda, Jacques moved on to Sauber and eventually out of F1 altogether.
And here we are. Villeneuve will be driving the Peugeot 908 HDi at the 24 Hours of Le Mans this year. The car is a brand new design, meant to compete with Audi's R10 diesel/biofuel cars. A tall order, as the Audis have looked unstoppable since their introduction and figure to get even better for 2007. Why should anyone care? Well, both cars are biofuel powered, which means zero environmental impact. Seeing racing cars making 650hp+ for hours on end burning the high grade equivalent of vegetable oil is pretty fecking impressive. On top of all that, Villeneuve has an opportunity to become the first racing driver to win the Indy 500, Indycar, Formula One, and 24 Hours of Le Mans championships. Pretty cool stuff, if you ask me.
Anyway, I'd had enough of all the emo/woe-is-me BS I've been posting lately and wanted to write about something I enjoy. Your mileage may vary. :)
Labels: cars, racing, villeneuve
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Nearly done
It's not perfect, it's not even complete, but this is close enough to share. My first Corel Painter painting. Who knows how many hours, using a Wacom tablet and Corel's oils brush set. The character is supposed to be Mr. Murdok, the cartoon mascot of MuRdok, the band. What do you think?
Labels: cartoon, corel painter, murdok
Friday, January 12, 2007
Is this it?
Is this all there is? Once you alleviate the trials of Man's fight for survival, is all that's left a world of superficial accumulation and self-indulgence? Is life given purpose by the stockpiling of money, sex partners, material goods, and power? If we dedicate our lives to the pursuit of truth, are we wasting our time in a world where the story is never straight?
Looking back, I find myself wishing I had made better choices. Not going away to college was a huge mistake, and while I am working to correct part of that error, the experience of getting away from this place is one that cannot be regained fully. I can move away to get a taste of what lies beyond, but it will not ever be the same as it could have been. The world is a very different place through the eyes of an 18-years old than someone crossing the 29.5 threshold.
Certain questions haunt my thinking when the topic gains a hold on my conscious. Would I have met someone, settled down, made a life somewhere, freeing myself from ever having to manage the nagging questions that constantly dance in the back of my mind today? How bad would having one great love in this life be, compared to the reality of repeated failures? Isn't that what most of us want, after all? If life denies us that, or we are born into a time and place where such a thing is more running joke than attainable reality, how do we NOT become somewhat discouraged?
And I am aware that much of this is being brought to the surface by the births of Scott and Laura's daughters, but these thoughts have had a hold on my soul for well past a decade now. With a little over six months left in my 20s, one of my biggest regrets is not having had at least one loving, long-term relationship to look back upon. Those years and my youth are now cast forever into the stream of history, never to be lived or experienced again. I have no regrets about my behavior, as I think I did my best to remain true to the concepts of goodness and honesty that have become increasingly more dear to me. My lament is focused more on the lack of real opportunities life has presented, and the reality that my options will always be more limited than most because of my nature.
I never wanted to sleep with a hundred women, or make a billion dollars. The thought of waking up next to someone that would always make me smile was a million times more appealing than a thousand nameless faces and a pillow overflowing with money. The fact that I have not ever even been able to even come close is pretty telling. Modern people seem to be chasing a life fashioned after some bullshit, contrived sense of commercialized existence. They are chasing TV-inspired moments that will not ever be reality, inevitably failing to attain the mass marketed dream, ending up hoping for a salvation that will very liktely not ever come.
But I digress...and digress...and digress. School starts up again tomorrow morning...I have not ever been more excited about a Saturday morning class! Finally, I can get back to being busy with something other than work, which is miserable, and relationship ruminations, which are tiresome. I've started sketching one household object per day, in an effort to sharpen up my graphite skills, and have made further progress on my first ever Painter painting. There may also be some interesting news on the altruism/volunteering front in the near future. All things to keep me busy, which is a good thing. Less downtime equates to less time regurgitating what could have been, and more time spent on building what is to be.
Things can't get rolling soon enough.
Labels: bitching and moaning, general, life
The original Star Wars trailer
I wasn't even alive to see this one, but that makes it all the more rich with coolness! As a former Star Wars geek...how could you not be, growing up in the 80s...I must admit that this gave me a smile.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
A pep talk for the outsider
I write this sort of thing for my own benefit more than anything else, because I have to repeatedly remind myself that most people do not think/act the way I do. But, making the mistake of projecting your own values and ideas onto others is costly and ultimately foolish. It is not ever a good idea to compromise your core principles, but you can't expect from others as you would expect from yourself.
The worst thing we can possibly allow to happen in times like these is to give into the destructive and counterproductive behaviors all around us. Allowing the rabid excesses of a lost civilization to devalue or degrade our own principles is the absolute last thing decent human beings can allow to happen. So many people go through life with no sense of purpose or place beyond money and immediate gratification, it is integral that those who see greater possibilities hold fast to their ideals and dedicate their lives to making more of life than an exercise in futile conformity. Succumbing to the leemer instinct can only cause harm to our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. Succumbing is just another path to subjegation, and a life spent in subjegation to falsehoods and foolishness is a life wasted.
The temptation to give in is always present, because it is easier to fit in, fall in line, and surrender to our own weaknesses than it is to stand outside, break the chain, and find a means to greater, personal fortitude. We spend our lives looking without for reassurance and validation, when in reality the only voice that ever truly matters is the one flowing from within. It is not a coincidence that the notion of being true to one's self has been with us since the days before time was time. People knew the virtues of honesty, discipline, and integrity before we came to understand that the world was round, or that the Earth orbited the Sun. We have known these things for thousands of years, yet here we are, in a moral state not much advanced beyond that of our most ancient elders. Several thousand years of progress has really only netted us longer lifespans, better technology, and incredible population increases. All of the old evils are still with us in one form or another. They may not be as obvious, but the negative constants of human nature, greed, powermongering, and the like, remain integral components of the modern experience in all places and amongst all peoples.
But being a part of that eons-old cycle is a choice. We make a choice to conform, to buy into the notion that material wealth and basal gratification are the most this life has to offer. We choose to believe that our only real purpose on this Earth is to work, breed, do as we're told, grow fat, grow old, and die. Accepting that as a life is a choice. And it may genuinely work for some. I won't argue that there are people for whom this is the best option available, but for those who desire something more, it is essential to resist buying into the monotony at all costs. After all, following and falling in line is how we become the mechanism for making OTHER peoples' visions and dreams come true.
The moral of the story is that rare is the human animal that is genuinely honest, decent, honorable, and committed to something greater than what is right in front of their face. There is more to this life. Even in a place as morally impaired and historically shortsighted as this, there is room for beauty, love, and honor. It is the duty of everyone who believes in these principles to do their best in living them. Perfection is an impossibility, but there is certainly more to life what we are being taught and sold in this modern age.
Labels: general, life, rhetoric, spirituality
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I had something else to post
but it can wait. Another pic of the twins. :)
Labels: the twins
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The world is a different place at 3:30am
Especially after you've had a few beers and a meandering conversation about exes. Terry_Ho and I went out for a few beers last night as a simple act of boredom. His increasingly pregnant fiance was not coming out, neither of us had any place to be, or any better ideas of what to do, so Dunedin Brewery and the Chic-A-Boom Room it was. We concluded, as I always do, that women are insane, that most people in this modern world are soulless, and that there is no hope for humanity. It was a good talk.
The difficult part about speaking of exes always comes after the fact. T_H had mentioned that my ex had posted a couple of blogs expressing her thoughts on the year past. Well, what choice did my mind have but to fixate on what may or may not have been said? I am not ashamed to admit that I have often wondered just what she thought of the mess that happened between us last year. Of course, she had some...issues...with a couple of other guys before and after we dated, so it was sure to make for an interesting read. Alas, my efforts to find her side of the story were thwarted, as all of her online profiles seem to be private these days.
At first I was frustrated, but could not put my finger on why. Obviously, there is no good that can come from reading about an ex's exploits, but morbid curiosity and a few pints of Guinness got the better of me in the very early morning. I was just giving up on my search when it dawned on me that there were two forces compelling me to seek out this information, which I really did not want to read in the first place.
With every girl I have ever dated, there has typically been a very drastic difference in the amount of postmortem down time each of us partook in once things fizzled out. In short, they move on right away, while I dwell for a while. On some level, I seem to have an emo-esque fascination with this imbalance, and I am helpless to do anything about it. I can't just "bang around" or "fuck it out of my system", no matter how many times I'm advised to do so. I'm old enough to recognize that the lead time between interesting girls is extended for me, and I also know that there is no rushing it, because there's no good in forcing something that isn't real, just to "move on", when in reality, moving on would be last thing I was doing.
I don't understand what motivates others to do what they do, don't want to be a part of it, but my mind works the idea like a hamster works its wheel. I grit my teeth and engage in the sort of contemplation that never ends well. On and on and on, my inner voice never seems to get tired of rehashing history, reminding me that the girl in question has moved on, while I'm still sitting here single, ruminating over the ashes of something that burned out ages ago. Relationships, sex, it's all so cheap and disposable...you know the drill. So it appears that I have pseudo-masochistic tendencies in this context, which is frustrating, because that is exactly the sort of thing I believe we should not ever allow to sink into us. In my heart of hearts, I know that I have done the right thing by every girl I've dated, but at 3:30 in the morning, those hazy visions of yesterday come a little clearer and it becomes that much easier to kick yourself in the testicles.
Secondly, I was genuinely curious to see if dating me had changed this particular ex in any way, shape or form. My money is on no, but you never know. I was in an AIM chat with Slade a few days ago and we discussed this very thing. There isn't really anything that special about my approach. I was raised to treat women with respect, to carry myself honestly, and to act with integrity, so I bring that to my relationships and do my best to express it in my actions, without becoming a doormat. Subsequently, girls I have dated tend to give me positive feedback, even after the fact. Did I do any good for this girl? Will any good come of the disaster that was our brief relationship? I will probably not ever know, and it ultimately doesn't matter, but some part of me has trouble with the idea that all that effort could have been expended for nothing.
The most tiring part is, I know that I will eventually get back in the game, meet someone, and do the whole damn thing over again. Time is starting to catch up with me, and the thought of repeatedly going down this road is a lot more distressing than it used to be, especially with everyone getting pregnant and married all around me. lol My 30th birthday is only months away now, for Jebus' sake! What a mess...
Anyway, that was my evening. It wasn't all bad, as I saw a couple of funny flicks and found out that T_H is having a boy. His fiance is really starting to show now, as she's almost exactly 6 months along. They've picked out a name and seem as ready as anyone can be. They are both totally stoked and looking forward to what's to come.
Friday, January 05, 2007
I'M AN UNCLE!!!
I'M AN UNCLE!!!!!!! :])
Mom and babies are doing well. No sizes or weights yet, but I will update with that info tonight. Freakin' awesome!!
Congratulations Scott and Laura! Welcome to the world Ava and Evelyn. :)
Here's the facts:
Evelyn was born first at around 1:15 and weighed 6lbs 9oz.
Ava met the world a few minutes later and weighed 5lbs 7oz.
I'm guessing they might yet prove to be identical, after seeing the pics. Regardless, they are here and they are happy (see below)! :)
Labels: the twins
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
I'm going to be an uncle on Friday!!
The SIL and 'Lil Bro have made it official, little Ava and Evelyn will be born Friday, January 5, 2007. Of course, the entire family is now on high alert. This is going to be one Hell of a week! I can't wait and I KNOW they were over waiting about four weeks ago.
I've been busy working on a picture/digital painting that just took a massive step toward completion this evening, so time has been short. Will post up a low res version of the final piece (actual size is over 3000x3000 pixels @ 400dpi). Can't promise I'll post much until then, but you never know.
Labels: general, life, the twins
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Petter Solberg testing the 2007 Subaru Impreza WRC
Having this much fun should be illegal! :D Petter tosses the 2007 Impreza WRC around a testing area somewhere in England(I presume). Rally season is only a couple of weeks away. I hope Subaru/Prodrive can get their program back on track at the Monte Carlo rally. Things certainly look (and sound) good in this video!