Monday, July 24, 2006

Stress is a merciless bastard


I'm stressed like Barry Bonds' endocrine system lately. Luckily, these stresses are not all negative, as there is the positive and hopeful stress of wanting to start school as soon as possible, but some are detrimental, like my current salary situation at the office. Regardless from whence the stresses come, the effects are starting to show.

My sleep pattern is erratic and I rarely feel rested, even after a full night in dreamless bliss. Concentration has become an issue, as I've felt really scattered and almost frantic at times. Much of that is the result of a pervasive impatience that has been with me since the day I opened my eyes and started soiling diapers, but it compounds in situations where time is of the essence. :) In such situations I'm doing everything in my power to accelerate whatever process I happen to be working on, but there is only so much I can do, so in the end I am often left waiting...fighting the urge to chew through a wall. It's a difficult thing, the "hurry up and wait" thing...I honestly do not handle it well.

Working out helps me deal, but lately even my workouts have been uninspired. Despite a change in my routine, things are still subpar on that front, but I continue on, because I know that I need the release. Tonight I'll be doing a little MMA training after the weight work, which is always cathartic. You can't help but be relaxed after kicking, punching, tackling and wrestling for an hour plus following a one hour weight workout. LOL

It's the zen of activity that spiritualists have been talking about and preaching since the dawn of time. The value of physical work simply cannot be underestimated. Nothing clears the mind like the release of all that physical tension and being that I'm in monk mode and therefore have no naked fun outlet, my only alternative is weights and restricted violence, which in the end is much less complicated, which relieves stress all the more!

So I'm stressing a good one, but dealing as best I can. My hopes are high that the letter of acceptance will pop up from Eckerd today, so that I can get my financial aid/reimburstment paperwork in the pipeline. From there it should, SHOULD, all be downhill. We'll see. ;)

With so much else going on the world, I've got a million things I'd like to write about...maybe later. For the time being, there are a couple of phone calls and a trip to Advance Auto parts to be made.

In the meantime, try blowing off some steam shooting smiley faces with a paintball gun...goddamned smiley faced bastards! Alawys watching, always smiling, always judging...get out of my life...get out of my HEAD!! Die!Die!Diiiiie!!! BLYAARRRGH!!!

Posted by Erik @ 7/24/2006 10:03:00 AM