Sunday, July 30, 2006

We are so lucky to be where we are, with the luxury of time and questions

It's times like these that I become acutely aware of the luck I have benefited from in having been born where and when I was. Right now, Israeli and Lebanese civilians affected by the fighting between the IDF and Hezbollah are waking each morning in fear. Their world has gotten very small in a very short amount of time. For some it has been reduced to nothing more than the shoes on their feet and clothes on their backs. What was their home is rubble, what was their life is now dusty piles of broken dreams and memories to eventually be cleared away and discarded. Those who aren't killed still feel the effects as part of the ripple that is the psychological impact of living within range of either side's artillery and rockets.

The fact that people are living this way as I type this blog entry makes the point all the more poignant for me personally.

I woke up this morning to my alarm clock blaring the morning's news across an air conditioned room, pushed a button on my PC and leisurely read the news at my preferred internet outlets while inhaling a bowl of strawberry yogurt Cheerios. I got ready without any sense of urgency, brushed my teeth and headed to the office. My biggest concern at the time was getting my Eckerd registration in the mail, my corporate reimbursement paperwork filed and the books I was bringing in boxed up so that I could ship them back to Amazon. Most of the morning was spent sitting comfortably in my office chair, answering and filing the emails that I had received while on vacation last week.

The Boss' boss stopped by to ask about my vacation and fill me in on another group member who was admitted to the hospital the night before last with chest pains. Dave, who we'll call Manboy from now on because every blog has to have people with interesting nicknames, and I somehow ended up joking about his experience with the original Sims game. We laughed about the wealthy family he created and later destroyed out of boredom, the poor family he created to live in the wealthier family's shed and the affairs his characters ended up having with another buddy's Sims family. In other words, it was the usual Monday morning busy work and goofing off.

Not once did I have to worry about anything more serious than a few work tasks that were pending and when I would get a chance to make my morning oatmeal. And that has more or less been the story of my life to date. No local strife. No rampant criminal element, terrorist organizations or sense of impending doom. I was a suburbanite kid born to a middle class, blue collar family, so most of my stresses were manufactured by anxiety and insecurity, not real problems or primal struggles for survival.

Don't get me wrong, there isn't any guilt in that, but I do feel lucky and appreciative, because really, only luck separates me from one of the corpses in Haifa or Beirut. Luck, dumb probability, chance, whatever you prefer; that's it. This is why I have so much trouble with the concept of Destiny and even the literal definition of Fate. Likewise, this is why I simply cannot believe there is a sentient god watching over us or guiding us all through our Earthly days. To accept these concepts, I have to accept that the children and civilians killed as collateral damage anywhere at any time were meant to die this way. They were created, born and raised to be blown to pieces, burned alive, starved, maimed, psychologically and spiritually destroyed, etc. What kind of destiny is that? What kind of fate? What kind of god allows this to happen?

All the talk of "mysterious ways" and "grand plans" was lost on me ages ago. This is some god's plan, their grand vision? This is how it is all meant to be? Where are the miracles? Where are the angels, the prophets, the ethereal guides and their holy guidance? So far as I can see, they are nowhere to be found. In fact, aside from stories recorded by people who thought the Earth was the flat and sat at the center of the universe, these supernatural beings have been distressingly absent. That's not a bash, it is a simple statement of the facts as I understand them. Where did they go? What are they waiting for?

At some point in my life, I eventually grasped onto the concept of karma and spiritual goodness as protectors of our Earthly vessels and spirits, but at times like these I question even those ideas. How could children not have accrued enough good karma to shield them from such violent and horrific endings? How could so many people have seen their goodness falter to the point that the great spirit/energy/one/etc would not shield them from such suffering? When will the world's willful practitioners of violence have stacked up so much negative karma as to be wiped from the face of the Earth? A quick glance at history leads me to believe that no such cleansing is coming, despite what the old books and their various followers say.

I am inclined to conclude that the universe is indifferent or even hostile by nature, that it is ruled by much simpler laws than those conceived by Man and that the only guiding force is that of survival. The idea of God and angels watching over us vanished from my spiritual understanding years ago and there are times where I think my belief in karma and fate are little more than wishful thinking or worse, a fanciful denial of truth. With so much evidence to the contrary, it is difficult to continue believing that our behavior has any effect on our future beyond its immediate and obvious repercussions.

And that is a bit discouraging, as I still believe doing what is right and good elevates the spirit as well as the psyche, but accepting that it ultimately makes no difference beyond the confines of our heads and hearts takes some of the power out of the practice and chips away at my sense of optimism. All we can do is the little that we do, but the idea of this never being enough is a jagged pill to swallow. Unfortunately, it seems that swallowing that bitter tablet is all we can do. Maybe I just need more water...

Posted by Erik @ 7/30/2006 07:00:00 PM

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there is nothing immediate or obvious about the repercussions of the things we do. it's hard not to see life at its most basic level as a chain of infinite, and infinitesimal decisions. whether or not there is a power of some sort which guides those decisions... whether or not they're predetermined by the sum of what's gone on before... these are interesting questions, but incredibly complex and baffling as well. that's why i'm cautious about making "there couldn't be" type judgements. our very limited frame of reference is a serious hindrance to discussions like this one, i think.

Posted by Blogger slade @ Monday, July 31, 2006 6:36:00 PM #
 

I agree, but what we have before us is all we have to base our decisions on. We each do some good, make some mistakes, etc, but what of the truly evil and hateful people? They feed off the weak and the weary. They bring death to innocents and the gods appear to sit idle. That bothers me and has always been one of my primary reasons for walking away from monotheism in all its variations.

I'm just frustrated by it all. One side is happy to see the other side suffer because they have suffered and vice versa. The same old wheel just keeps turning around and around and honestly, it's as boring and tiresome as it is distressing. This is why I watch the news as little as possible. :)

Posted by Blogger Erik @ Monday, July 31, 2006 7:41:00 PM #
 

well, one side allowing the other side to suffer may be the human reality of it all, but i don't think anyone believes it's what a truly good "supreme being" would want for us. people who commit heinous acts "in the name of god" (or any other force which presents itself as righteous) are plainly a corruption to their faith. what i would find more worrisome, if i were you, would be the lack of divine intervention in tragedies which are not at the hand of man - cancer in children and the like. these are the things for which nobody seems to have an answer other than some force or another working "in mysterious ways."

of course, it's possible that if forces like these were transparent to us, it would actually destroy the potential for us to exercise our own volition. we are creatures of habit after all... if we as a species were able to tell which behaviors rendered desirable outcomes by way of "good karma," mightn't we learn always to do the right thing, but for the wrong reason? if you're trying to figure out what possible master plan could have created a world as crazy as this one, it might be helpful to you to consider the possibility that there are reasons a force might make its mark subtly or in a way that eludes our understanding.

and then, on the other hand, if it doesn't seem likely to you that there's anything bigger out there, it's still important to remember that we're really in no position to be effectively "tracking" the outcomes of our decisions. even if the act of an evil man appears to us to have gone unpunished, it could have set into motion something which will come back to bite him in the ass later on, or ultimately contribute to the undermining of a greater evil.

the vastness of this world and the relative meagerness of the time and manner with which we can try to wrap our minds around it make for quite a challenge, lol.

Posted by Blogger slade @ Monday, July 31, 2006 10:14:00 PM #
 

Interesting angle...I can see you've learned a thing or two in your philosophical and religious explorations. The problem is, there are examples of incredibly heinous acts on a massive scale from the past, present and undoubtedly the future that simply lack credible explanation in a caring Creator/creation relationship. From the mass cruelty exhibited by the Egyptians to the holocaust to more recent atrocities in Africa. The beat simply goes on and on and on throughout all of human history. Not only that, but the practitioners of all god-fearing, monotheistic faiths have been guilty at one time or another, often times bringing death and destruction to their own people.

And throughout it all, particularly in the last 1000 years, not a peep from the supposedly omniscient and ominipotent beings of whichever faith one happens to follow.

How many Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc need to be killed in order for a God make Its long-term, seemingly abstract point when the power is there, as a matter of recorded doctrine, to turn the tide and change the course of history in a single, decisive stroke?

That is the core of my problem with monotheism and supernatural, sentient deities. The number is in the high millions, if we reach back to antiquity. The pattern seems to be set and history seems to repeat itself in a cyclic nature, even as technology improves, as technology increases our ability to wreak mass amounts of havoc. So when does god or karma or fate step in? I will always be faithful in the power of goodness, but my faith in its various supernatural sources will probably always be fragile.

And you mention the "natural" tragedies that befall a certain percentage of the population, further validating my point! Some are made to suffer hooribly and for what appears to be no purpose at all, even hundreds of years later. Yet others are blessed with health and strength and ultimately waste it completely. In a world of natural law, this makes total sense to me. Nature doesn't care, nature simply is. It moves and propels and sustains, but it, as a force, is only concerned with perpetuating itself. That makes total sense to me. A god watching a five or six year old die a slow death, or worse allowing a child to be abused or even murdered does not compute at all.

That sort of grand plan just makes no sense to me, especially in a world like this one. I'm aware of the interplay between Lucifer and Yahweh, etc, but that isn't enough to satisfy me because it demands that I accept the faith on its face, despite the facts as I understand them.

But we could probably go on like this forever...I need some sleep. lol

Posted by Blogger Erik @ Monday, July 31, 2006 11:18:00 PM #
 

we could go on forever, and if that's your way of saying you're ready to move on to something else, you can disregard the rest of this comment. i just want to get what i'm thinking down in words.

first, when you bring up the practitioners of faith propagating death and destruction, you should really remember that just about any religious doctrine you could ever study fundamentally champions love and peace. that its so-called adherants fail to comply is not a flaw in the doctrine, but in the people themselves, who display their fallibility by misunderstanding or exploiting their faith. it reminds me of a quote:

"there are not one hundred people in the world who hate catholicism, but there are millions who hate what they mistakenly believe about catholicism." fulton j. sheen

catholicism in the quote could be replaced by almost anything, really.

the question i challenge you to actually consider is what the greater purpose of divine intervention would be. we have been bestowed with free will (or so most of us believe)... what that amounts to is the ability to choose between good and evil - our hands aren't tied. an omnipotent god could jump in and kill off all the evil people in the world (if there's even such a thing... i tend to think of it more as a matter of degrees than of good and evil) - cause a great flood, for example - but what would that accomplish? it would prevent a whole lot of suffering, for a while - until the next generation of evildoers came along. maybe it would teach everyone for ever more to only do good for the sake of survival. or... what? the same goes for the sabotaging of exceptionally evil practices, like genocide or slavery. it seems like if god steps in, the only options available to us are the ones he wants us to choose. we aren't left with much of a meaningful choice in that case, now are we? try to think a couple of steps ahead.

i should be clear that, like i said earlier, i don't have an answer for things like natural disasters which cause harm to the innocent. actually, i'm coming up with all of this as i go along and i have no idea where it's taking me... but i do find the direction of this conversation (or whatever it is) to be extraordinarily interesting.

:)

Posted by Blogger slade @ Tuesday, August 01, 2006 11:48:00 PM #
 

I wasn't necessarily ready to move on, as I never really move on, so much as move around. :) And I appreciate your point about religious doctrine and the like, but the problem for me is that it leaves the ominipotent God a proberbial pass to sit back and watch his creation eliminate itself, when in reality our flaws must be derived of flaws in the grand design, given that monotheistic religions believe us to be products of His image and His hand. If the Creator is not perfect then it is only reasonable that the creation will likewise be imperfect. It is also reasonable to conclude that said creation will subsequently multiply and deepen the Creator's imperfections. That would explain our repetitively violent nature fairly evenly and would actually make me more accepting of monotheist doctrine, though I still would not feel compelled to become a believer.

But we are told that the Creator is the embodiment of perfection and that we are imperfect only in our poor use of the free will you mentioned. If that is the case, I am compelled to believe that we are an experiment at best, an amusement at worst. After all, He is capable of anything, knows all, surely he saw this coming, yet he did nothing. This leads me to believe that he no longer cares or is sadistically sitting back and enjoying the show. Such thinking makes me feel anything but loved by God. In fact, it leaves me feeling used, abandoned and possibly meaningless.

People are flawed, most definitely, but the doctrine of mainstream monotheism is likewise flawed and, I believe, clearly the product of human authors. With so much preaching of love and togetherness, the Old and New Testaments, as well as the Koran for that matter, ultimately come down to eternal punishment or reward. Of course, the choice is yours, but really, what sort of love is there in black/white, acceptance/rejection choices? What kind of love excludes and divides? What kind of love damns the Jew or the Muslim or even the Protestant?

I believe a loving God would dispense the same forgiveness his prophets and messengers have preached we should grant to our fellow human beings. No sort of real, honest love is so unforgiving, at least the sort I have experienced.

And divine intervention would go a long way toward restoring some sense of its presence in our world. Effectively we are talking about an absentee father and abandoned children...we know how often such a situation goes sour by looking around us.

I believe a supernatural statement of awareness would permanently alter the face of human understanding, given the technology and complexity available to modern recordkeepers. But we haven't heard stories of His intervention since the dawn of history and those were the product of ages of word of mouth. Excluding the controversies surrounding Jesus, as what we really know about the man is anything but clear, we are left to go solely on faith and faith alone. Obviously, the threat of punishment with no tangible evidence of a punisher is not much of a motivator, so ultimately the experiment would appear to be failing or perhaps amusing, depending on how you look at things.

But that's just me and it may not make sense, given how ridiculously tired I am. ;)

Posted by Blogger Erik @ Thursday, August 03, 2006 12:11:00 AM #
 

lol, you seem to do a lot of posting while suffering from sleep deprivation.

i think the question of how much benefit would actually come of the type of intervention you're talking about merits some thought. that said, i'm not unsympathetic at all to your problems with formal religion. i don't like the accept-or-reject aspect at all... it's a big part of what turned me away from christianity a long time ago and keeps me away even now - i don't think it makes sense to attribute that type of an ultimatum to a supposedly "perfectly merciful" being, and i don't think the adherants of most religions give that objection its due credit. actually, i see a lot of inconsistencies in formal religion - but most of them are issues with the human interpretation of god (ie. that he can be infinitely loving while reserving salvation only for people who "believe"), not necessary aspects of theism... don't you think?

Posted by Blogger slade @ Friday, August 04, 2006 10:27:00 PM #
 

Absolutely. I have always had a problem with the exclusionary nature of organized religions. How does man proclaim to know the mind of God, to the point that he claims to have documented the one and only true doctrine? Claiming to KNOW the will of this perfect being that surpasses our ability for comprehension seems nothing short of silly, honestly. Most people hardly know where they left their car keys and the greatest thinkers in our history only ever managed to realized that they hardly knew anything at all about the nature of humanity and its place in this universe.

I think you're right to be skeptical and smart to be aware of the possibility of skeptical faith. What better faith could there be??

Posted by Blogger Erik @ Saturday, August 05, 2006 1:50:00 AM #
 
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