Sunday, August 06, 2006

Just another day in paradise

In every way, today was just another mid-Summer Sunday afternoon in Florida. Hot, humid, sunny and slow, but I'll be damned if that could stop me from having an extended "life is good" moment. As usual, this revelation came to me during a solo trip to the beach. Honeymoon Island was relatively busy, the sand packed by families and their assorted paraphernalia...multi-colored beach towels, coolers full of sugar crack snacks and drinks, beach umbrellas, plastic shovels, buckets, etc, etc.

The usual beach soundtrack provided the ambience...seagulls babbling at one another, kids laughing, a steady breeze, boats and jet skis in the distance, the rhythmic roll of breakers on the shore. My radio was tuned to 98Rock and I was starting a book Flash recommended called Gates of Fire. In short, I was in my own audio/visual world, sucking up the sun and sweating out some stress, but none of that was unusual.

When the realization hit me, I was walking the sandbar that runs the length of Honeymoon's beach, as the tide had just went out. This creates a shallows on one side and a subtly graded break point on the other. As those mini-breakers rolled in, they made the idealized, steady whisper only waves cresting into the shoreline can and it suddenly occurred to me just how utterly peaceful everything seemed to be. There were no people arguing, no one jockeying for space or going anywhere in a hurry. The breeze made the mid-afternoon sun seem less oppressive, the water was clear, the air clean and the whole scene seemed like something out of a "Hello from Florida" postcard. In a way, I was taking it all in as if I were a tourist, since I was a stranger to everyone there.

It was a totally serene situation...all for a few bucks parking and a few miles on the road. I mean seriously, what more could any of us hope for?! If it weren't for little annoyances like skin cancer, food, shelter and money, I would drop everything and live in a tent on the sand. I would be like an ancient sheik, complete with a stable of camels, an entourage to do my bidding and a harem of exotically gorgeous women. The Bay would be my heavenly oasis and Honeymoon Island my mythical kingdom. This would be my Walden Two! Why didn't I think of this before? Oh, that's right...I do...just about every time I get to the beach.

I think it's time I get it over with and start my own religion. It could be like Scientology, sans the aliens, membership fees and body scanning equipment. Our church would be the shoreline and the only requirements for membership would be a towel and sunscreen. Judgment, damnation and original sin would all be non-starters, of course. Our commandments would read something like "Thy must chilleth out" and "Thou must haveth a good time". Traditional dress would consist of bathing suits and string bikinis. Our hymns could be instrumental island music and our car trunk icon would be the outline of a palm tree, since someone else already nabbed the fish. Our prophets could be dreadlocked rastafarians, bouncing beach Betties and the Australian Gold koala bear! Everyone would be beautiful and happy and perfectly tanned!

Think of the possiblities!! We could end world hunger, manifest world peace and unite all the world's peoples under The Infinite and Eternal Beach Umbrella of Bliss! I could be the son of some god, complete with super powers and a really cool hair/beard combination that drives all the ladies wild. There would be surfing and sunning and good-natured debauchery for all! In short, life would be a 60s beach movie minus the bad hair and a lot of cheesy dialog!! I ask you, would this not be Heaven on Earth??

This has to happen...who's with me?

Posted by Erik @ 8/06/2006 11:03:00 PM