Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Late virgins
Every morning I wake to the sounds of 97.1's Fisher and Boy, aka the 97X Morning Show, crackling from the tiny speaker in my alarm clock radio. Subsequently, I have an internal point-counterpoint session while I'm eating breakfast, getting dressed, and getting out the door. Today's topic interested me, because it was particularly poignant for me.
Apparently there is a TV show being cast which is looking for "late virgins", i.e. people who didn't get their scrump on by the age of 18 to 34. The morning show interviewed said reality show's producer and followed up with some commentary. The gist of the conversation was that a person who hasn't done the deed by 20 (when the show's Boy finally got over the hump, so to speak) was somehow socially impaired, aka a Social Retard. If that's the case, I am the Stephen Hawking of sexual socialization! LOL
At 20, I was still a long way from going there with anyone, despite having several opportunities to 'get it over with'. My main concern was making sure I went down that road with someone I genuinely cared about, so I held out. I'm no longer amongst the pristine, but I sometimes wish I could be. I've known some prolific manwhores, and I've known some not-until-marriage types, I'm neither, but my number is low, and by low I mean eyebrow raising "are you serious" low. Of course, according to the HIV prevention ads of the 80s and 90s, I have slept with everyone my partner(s) has slept with, which makes my virtual number currently unknown, and not a little unnerving, but what's done is done. That said, my physical number is ridiculously low and the count didn't start until I was ridiculously old, at least by 99.9% of the population's standards.
Do I feel like the more promiscuous or experienced people around me know something I don't? ==Warning, self-righteous rant to commence in T-minus 5...4...3..2...== Fuck no! You know why? Because 95% of them are in shitty relationships, if they are capable of being in real relationships at all. I could bang 100 women, not remember half their names or faces, pick up and pass on a few STDs, but what will have been the point? What will I have to show for all that time, effort and risk, beyond a Valtrex prescription (if I'm lucky), the same hole of insecurity I tried to fill with multiple vaginas, and and a few stories to share with my similarly insecure buddies? Fucking, and really, if you're just banging around that's all you're doing, is something the simplest mammals can do. It's emotionless and empty. Why not just buy a Fleshlight or a Sybian, if all you want to do is have your genitals stimulated?
It always amazes me how much power the idea that we should "fuck early, fuck often" has in modern society. Going all the way back to Egypt and beyond, the human animal has largely been a slave to its genitalia, like a dog or monkey...I picture the internet famous video of a chimp pissing in its own mouth as a fitting representation of most of modern humanity at this point. So a guy who hasn't crossed paths with the right girl by 20 is more socially retarded than a guy who has stuck his junk into 5, 10, or 15 women by that age, even if the guy doing all the sticking is a total fucktard narcissist incapable of caring about another human being? Ridiculous.
Fisher, the leader of the show, will periodically lament his history, whining about past relationships, his weight, etc, but I'm to believe he knows something I don't, because he stuck his cement chute into some girl's love canal at 15? Give me a break. When I start seeing promiscuous people having healthy, loving relationships, I'll get onboard with the "it's just banging 'til you find the one you love" boat, but that's not what I'm seeing in the real world, so I'm extending my long middle finger in the general direction of those who judge virgins to somehow be inferior. More often than not, I think those waiting until they're old enough to have some understanding of the world beyond MTV reality shows and high school binge drinking have got it right.
As evidence that the pro-promiscuity/we-all-just-need-get-laid simpletons are idiots, I hold up the ever-increasing STD infection rate, the on-the-rise-again teen pregnancy numbers, the rising number of bastard, i.e. abandoned or "fatherless" children, and the 60% divorce rate as proof that fucking isn't solving many, if any, of society's problems. For those that believe otherwise, keep it up and let me know how it works out for you. As the societal cookie continues to crumble, at least you'll be getting some benefit from the decline...somebody has to.
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Actually, according to statistics, teen pregnancy has declined over the years. Not that what you are writing about is wrong or inaccurate, but some particular statistics might surprise you (and many others)!
Here is an article written this past December:
http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.com/news/20061103204811_health_news.shtml
I stand corrected. It would be interesting to see a more detailed breakdown of how much this decline can be attributed to more ready access to condoms, birth control, the morning after pill, and abortion. Well, promiscuous people having fewer children is a good thing, as far as I'm concerned.
I found another interesting article about an increase in UK abortion rates, despite the availability of morning after contraception: http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.com/news/20060814230923_health_news.shtml
I'm no fan of abortion, particularly as a means of birth control, so that's a little unsettling. Then there's this little gem about chlamydia: http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.com/news/20061027231941_health_news.shtml
At least the HPV vaccine is available, though it's still far from widespread. It's certainly a start. The best part about being a late virgin, and probably the aspect I miss most, is not having to worry about any of this. STDs, birth control, etc were all someone else's problem for most of my adult life. Surprisingly, I made some very bad decisions, even with tons of education, a functional level of intelligence, and a certain degree of maturity. When we get emotionally swept away, any of us is capable of stupid decisions. So it goes, I suppose.
Thanks for the link Anonymous!
You're welcome for the link.
Don't beat yourself up over it all, everyone makes mistakes. Just consider it a life experience that has shaped who you are and will continue to impact your future decisions.
I'm trying...my success rate varies depending on my mood and what's on my mind. What's done is done. :/
Forget sheep, I think you should be cloned.
LOL Thanks for the compliment, but I think you'll find a significant number of people who would disagree with you. That said, I've always wanted a twin. Hmmm...