Thursday, March 15, 2007
Internet dating?
Internet Dating?
Why not? In the end, I'm exactly the sort of person they are marketing to. I don't have time to network and meet people with any kind of regularity, I'm wanting to get back in the game, and the stigma that surrounds interweb matchmaking is being lifted by the mainstreaming of sites like eHarmony and Match. The fact is, I haven't dated anyone in nearly a year, and my schedule makes meeting someone incredibly difficult. Even when I do go out, meeting the kind of girl I am looking for at a bar or by random chance is an extraordinary long shot. School is great, but the ladies are part of the wrong(older) demographic. The gym I go to is essentially a dead zone, because it's expensive and nothing like a meet market. Besides that, there's no good way to approach someone under those circumstances without feeling like you are interrupting or intruding. And work...work makes me miserable, so I'm not in a good mood to begin with, and ultimately, there aren't many young, eligible, available, interesting women there.
There have to be other good people in my situation, and there's really no easy way of finding them, so why not get more proactive, rather than leaving my life in the hands of fate? Sitting back and hoping chance will help me out has left me on the outside looking in for far too long. The few opportunities life has thrown me have gone nowhere or ended in heartache. I'm beginning to think that sitting back and waiting is a serious, if not catastrophic mistake.
Seriously, how many tall, athletic, (stunningly) handsome, honest, intelligent, forthright, artistic, gainfully employed, college educated, low mileage, relationship-oriented guys are walking this Earth? Top that off with a cool car and the fact that I am soon to be a motorcycle rider and I've got to ask, WTF is wrong with modern women?? lol I haven't ever met another guy like me, so there can't be many of us running around. You know what, women should be chasing ME! With all the cowardly, game playing, bullshit artists running around, one would think a little honesty would serve as a revelation. A good guy who isn't a spineless "nice" guy should be in high demand in a place full of doormats. In the end, perhaps it will be my ego that saves me.
Some might argue that the internet dating scene is somehow pathetic, but it is certainly not any less pathetic than the bar/club scene, and it is much more empowering than hoping for a random meeting. The odds are getting longer every day, and at this point, just getting back out into the scene would be a relief. Seriously, isn't it MORE pathetic to hope that chance will bring someone interesting your way? I'm beginning to think so. We'll see...
As an added bonus, I can give any interesting ladies this URL and tell them to get reading, since my brain is more or less spilled out in text here. Of course, that could backfire on me and scare them all away. lol
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I don't see anything wrong with internet dating. But... you seem to have been dating younger women and younger women I would think want the bad boys, the partiers. I'm not sure they're as interested in the things you have to offer. Someone closer to her 30's I'd think would be more what your looking for.
Another thing I might suggest and don't take this the wrong way... but if I were single I would rather my boyfriend have his own place than a motorcycle. I know you're trying to finish college which ties up the cash flow a bit, but adding the extra bike payment isn't going to get you any closer to your own place. I've run into the same thing with your brother. We're a one income family living off just his paycheck so the motorcycle will definitely have to come second to the mortgage. It doesn't mean it can't be done, we just have to take it slow.
Anyhow, my point is that if you want a serious relationship that could turn out to be the "real" thing you have to consider where it might lead and having that extra bike payment might make it harder to move out. I'm not just saying this because I hate bikes either :) :) I know living on your own would be rough on the budget but it can be done, we're a family of four and we can do it... even on Army pay :)
Don't think I'm saying to rush right out and live on your own because I definitly see the upside to what you're doing. I'm just saying that if you're looking for a seriuos relationship that could really go somewhere then it's something to keep in the back of your mind.
Hope you find what you're looking for because love is a wonderful thing.
I agree, moving out would be a good thing for you. At your age, you should be out on your own and developing a strong sense of independence. To each their own, but a lot of women are attracted to a man who can hold his own, etc.
Well, I'm not TOO concerned with age, though I'm not into older ladies. In the end, it's not about age so much as it is the overall vibe. I've met some very mature 20 year olds, and some very immature 30 year olds. I agree with you, for the most part, but I think a lot of women look for bad/dysfunctional guys, regardless of age. Bad guys create drama, which means they're not "boring". I'm boring. :)
And the one problem with having my own place is that I would get no satisfaction or joy from being there. If a girl can't see past the fact that I rent from the 'rents, then you're right, I'm screwed. LOL Surprisingly, it hasn't stopped me to date...I stop me, most of the time...but I know some women will pass because of it. In the end, it's their loss.
I make enough to be out on my own, but prefer the rent controlled environment I'm in right now. Owning a house is really being owned by the house...I'd rather get on a bike and ride. :)
Well, it looks like I'm screwed. lol
I might take issue with the idea that most women are attracted to men who can "hold their own", but point taken. Hopefully I'll find a girl who understands that I actually can and do hold my own, but choose to put my time and money into things other than a house/condo.
And I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me would describe me as being independent, but the prejudice will obviously be there.
I hope you're not implying that a woman closer to her 30's is an "older lady" because at 27, pushing 28 I hardly feel like I'm an old lady :) :)
You are absolutely right, you don't need to be out on your own to date. All I'm saying is that sometime in the near future you just might meet that perfect girl and it might turn into more than just dating. I'm simply suggesting that in your search for a woman you keep in the back of your mind and wallet that living at home will not always be ideal. Once you're in the right relationship, trust me you'll want to be out on your own.
You can get satisfaction from owning your own place too. It's an investment, it's a place to call "home" and I don't think you can truly understand that until you have your own place. Do you think you'd feel the same way you do about your car if you knew it was a rental -vs- your own? I love working around the house, making changes to it and some days just looking at it saying, "wow, this is ours". Probably the same way you love to work on your car.
At this point there is no rush or need for you to be on your own, but I do think one day in the near future you'll want to be and you'll then find the satisfaction it it.
Until then, happy dating becasue I know she's out there.
I'm definitely not in any hurry. lol If the choice is between something like my planned trip to Europe next year or owning a house, Europe wins right now. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, forget about 30 years. And I agree, were I in a long-term relationship that seemed like it was going somewhere, I'd have no problem buying the house and splitting the mortgage with someone, but I've never even been close, so shouldering that entire burden on my own while hoping for someone to come along just makes no sense. And as along as stay as close to liquid as possible, the greater my options. There was a time where you could sell a house in a hurry, but not these days. All these things have played a role in my decision not to buy...