Sunday, June 10, 2007
Dealing with "the drought"
There was a time when going without sex was easy, primarily because there always seemed plenty of time for plenty of that, once I met the "right" girl. As time has gone by, I've come to realize that the "right" girl is almost certainly not ever going to come along, and "the drought" has become something of a different animal. Where there was once optimism, there is now concern brought on by the realization that time is ticking, I'm growing older, and in the process I am shedding the few things I have in common with my peers. I have not ever been a typical guy, chasing ass just wasn't my thing, so it was a foregone conclusion that I would not ever get laid as often as most. I got alright with that many years ago. The serial monogamists and the promiscuous crowd have their enlightenment. I knew that I would have to look elsewhere for mine.
I was always hoping that something real would cross my path, but all the girls I've spent time getting to know seemed more concerned with the drama and the games that typify your average relationship than getting genuinely connected. Finding someone I share interests with who can enjoy the some time seems to be nigh on impossible. Maybe this is the way it is supposed to be, I honestly don't know and opinions seem to vary. But I do know that I dealt with this reality differently in my youth. Where I feel a twinge of dread intermixed with sadness today, I was simply angry then, and embracing that anger allowed me to push through the yearning. As I grew older, anger was eventually replaced by a cautious optimism. There was hope for discovering something more, which sustained me for years, but there was certainly an awareness that the well I sought to draw water from was akin to Ponce de Leon's fountain of youth in its scarcity.
So how the hell does everyone else deal with a lack of rain, so to speak? Obviously, given my weakness for ideals and fondness for child-like naivetee, one-night stands, quick hook-ups, and sport fucking are out. Just as obvious, lots of pressure valve release via manual manipulation is in, but good lord in Heaven that gets old. To the one or two people reading this (that aren't my sister-in-law...that just seems weird somehow), what the hell is a grown man with morals supposed to do? I'm friggin' dyin' over here!
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