Saturday, July 21, 2007
Bottoms up
Last night was my buddy TerryHo's 30-something-eth birthday. Naturally, some of his friends gathered for a celebration. The night started innocently enough at TGI Friday's in Countryside, where the Blue Moon flowed like water and food seemed to come by the truck load. I was riding, so I limited myself to one Sam Adam's with dinner, and lots of water. Obviously, it wasn't long before I was the only totally sober male at the gathering. Eventually, we paid our bills, headed back to TH's house, where the group enthusiastically partook in more beer. I donned a borrowed button down, as we were headed to some place on Ulmerton called The Flow Lounge. I had never heard of it, but Jason, one of Terry's long-time friends, knew some people who could get us in to VIP for free.
So we head out with a group of five guys and two girls to a club I had never heard of in a part of town I had never partied in. Everyone is drinking, and knowing this crowd, I had a feeling that I would be in for what would most likely be a long night. I had one more beer, since it would be hours before I saw my bike again(I wasn't driving), and we hit the road. Here's where you have to understand something about my boy TH and his group of buddies. These guys used to party at insane levels. Lots of alcohol, lots of sleepless nights, and lots of foggy mornings. They used do the Miami thing on a regular basis and practically lived in Ybor back when Ybor was still a fun place to be. Terry's buddy Todd is an animal. Once he starts tipping them back, he's not stopping until the sun rises. I figured it was going to be a fun night.
We get to Flow and the place is packed. It is not that there were too many people, so much as there was too little space. The place is your typical bar/club...loud music, a couple of different themed rooms, couches, a few tables, inadequate bathroom facilities, you know the drill. Being sober provided me a different perspective on the goings-on. It is funny how ratcheting back my intake has altered my perception of 'the scene'. It's still just a bunch of people looking to get drunk and hook-up for one night stands (it's a high class world!), but the whole menagerie is less entertaining sober. It was fun hanging with the TH crew, and we met a couple of old acquaintances from the car scene that I hadn't crossed paths with in months, but overall, I was pretty indifferent about the journey and the destination. Everyone else was on their way to drunk town, but I was just sitting back, enjoying the scenery.
Todd and Jason were all about getting some random ass, Terry was all about getting demolished, despite my best efforts to curb his inevitable destruction, and Matt(the other male in our group) was content to hang with a girl he was pursuing and her engaged friend. I got a chance to catch up with the car scene kids, take a tour of the venue (didn't take long), check out a couple of the female dancers (fantastic physiques), and soak it all in(drunken debauchery is boring at my age). You know what, I don't miss being out in the bar scene one bit. Even the two girls and a guy groping all over one another and flashing artificially augmented breasts failed to incite my interest. I have seen it all before in different places with different faces. It was just a bunch of drunk people trying to look cool, get laid, and be seen. I could practically smell the random drunk sex in the air. For some, it is the scent of paradise, to me, it smells more like a landfill. I must be getting old.
But I'm not the only one. Terry put a serious hurt on, apparently taking two massive swills of Grey Goose vodka, a drink or two, and possibly a shot of something, before knocking over John's(one of the car scene gang) bottle of Ketel One. It went over with a watery thud, ice bucket and all. That was my cue to get him out of the building ASAP, so as soon as the apologies were done, we headed for the door. And it was a good thing. T-Ho was in full blown smasherrific mode, to the point that standing was becoming an issue. We eventually packed into Jason's car and made our way back to the homestead post haste, with one vomit train false alarm along the way. Once we were safely at Casa Ho, said train left the station in a big way, and Terry was partially freed from the grips of the poison filling his belly.
I hung out while Jason and Todd headed back into the night air on a mission to conquer some random trollop's nether regions. In this place, I can't imagine they had much trouble finding some. We said our goodbyes, I wished them a safe journey, and I hung out to keep an eye on Terry while his understandably irritated bride Krizzle fed their baby and rocked him back to sleep. Surprisingly, two drunk guys carrying an obliterated friend, trailing a sober motorcyclist, do not enter a house quietly at 1:30 in the AM. Who'da thunk it? Eventually TH went down for the count, I apologized profusely to Krizzle for not keeping a better eye on him, bid her farewell, saddled up, and steered Audrey toward home. Thankfully, Terry's house is only a few miles away and most of those can be traveled via side roads, so I was able to avoid traffic, which at that hour would be comprised primarily of completely inebriated cagers and near-inebriated cagers. By 3:00AM I was in bed, thus concluding the 2007 edition of TerryHo's Birthday Bonanza.
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got your fill of obligatory birthday tomfoolery did you? judging by the vodka i'm guessing it was john-the-admin you ran into? who all else was there?
there are a few areas where i allow myself to be limited by ethics. my relationship status is one of them, since i'm pretty comfortable with celibacy, and the dating scene... isn't so much. and partying is another. i won't get into a car with someone who's been drinking, so i've been the sober friend in a bar full of hormonal drunkards loads of times and i can definitely relate!
Yeah, John with the Evo and Scott from the old Secret Services days were there. Dan, whose last name I can't remember, was also lounging on their couch. The Jason in question goes by Bucsfan, if I remember right. I'm still getting used to being the sober one, as I hardly go out at all anymore. Funny thing is, the longer I go without so much as getting a buzz, the less I want to be around the bar scene at all. Would rather chill with friends, grab a beer, and go do something other than drinking.
yeah, it's gotta be just the right kinda joint for it not to lose its charm when you lose your buzz.
I wasn't ever into the scene...it was always same thing, different venue for me. My primary interest was hanging with friends and knocking back a few drinks. Now, I'd rather just spend time with friends.
That said, my pastimes and passions are becoming increasingly solitary. Drawing, riding, academia, and exploring the ebb and flow of my own existence. The only times I interact with large numbers of people are at work and at the gym, and I would love to cut work out of the equation so that I could do school full-time.
The people in this place are so boring to me. Floridian's interest seem to be narrowly focused on getting chemically wrecked and screwing. I wish I could move all of them out and move some sort of art and culture scene in. I love this place, but most of the people are sentient forms of pollution for me these days. Goddamn, I think I have to be officially declared an arrogant asshole after expressing a sentiment like that in print, but it's true! lol
Honestly, who's contaminating every aspect of existence here more than the conformist multitudes? They pollute the land, the air, the sea, the culture, the concept of decency, the idea of love, and on and on and on. The worst part is, there's no escaping them. They are literally EVERYWHERE!
That was great, lol! As one who has spent every club outing sober, your perceptions were dead on. The only thing clubs are good for are having fun with friends and mocking people. Remind me to tell you about the "ho show" at channelside one of these days. :)