Sunday, July 15, 2007
The Twins are even cuter in person
The SIL was in town this weekend, so the fam had some time to get together and uncle Erik got to be an active uncle once again. Let me just say up front that those two little buggers and cutest pair babies I have ever seen! They have grown significantly since the last time I saw them, and they are much more active now. It's amazing how much of their individual personalities are already beginning to express themselves. Ava seems to be more antsy and aggressive, while Evelyn is more reserved and considered. Holding them really drove home the understanding of just how rapidly they are growing! With a minimum of support, both babies will try to stand, and it looks like crawling is only a matter of days or weeks away. It is truly amazing how fast they have gone from completely helpless newborns to developing babies. I've seen the transition before with friends' children, but it's all the more fascinating because we are family. :)
So I got to enjoy a lot of smiling, giggling, cooing, and drooling. It was a good time by anyone's standards! I'm not sure I could function as a father, but I do enjoy being an uncle. Being an uncle means lots of holding, goofy faces and smiling, with few of the hardships involved in changing diapers, quieting angry infants, and the other pleasantries that come with taking on life's greatest responsibility.
While riding home, I started giving some consideration to the concept of being a worthy parent. The sacrifice, patience, and dedication. The planning, scheduling, and organizing. A good parent lives for their family. They accept responsibility for absolutely dependent human beings who are utterly helpless in the world. It is a huge commitment, and a beautiful thing, for those willing to make and live that promise. I have nothing but respect for Scott and Laura and responsible parents everywhere, believe me. I have seen how much work and energy goes into good parenting. There is nothing easy about it!
Will I ever take that step? No, not in this lifem and it's no tragedy. If I were younger, or less selfish, or more focused on building a family of my own, obviously, I would be seeking out a mate and hoping to be married. But I'm getting older, my interests are centered almost entirely on the things and places I want to experience in this life, and marriage has not ever been near the top of my goals checklist. I can't even have a functional relationship, so the idea of marriage is out of the question. If you are not married, or at the very least 100% committed to a lifelong relationship, you should not be a parent, bottom line. And the reality is that we are not all meant to be parents. The real tragedy is that so many people who have no business being parents throw their hat in the ring despite their shortcomings. Raising children should be left to those who are prepared for the effort required in being loving, caring parents. It's a shame that so many people who are not willing to fully commit themselves force, or often times fumble, their way into the ring of parenthood.
I think I'll stick with being 'Uncle Erik'. It has a certain charm to it and is most definitely an hell of a lot less work. :)
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you know, when i say things like "i'll never be a parent" everyone and their mothers-in-law remind me that you really never know what's in your future!
though i'm curious and i don't think you've mentioned it in a while, how's your bbbs mentoring going?
Yeah, I think people recoil when they hear people talk in that fashion at your age. They don't want you to limit your options, and you never do know. When you hit thirty, most people start agreeing with you. Some will even encourage you not to! You'd amazed at how many older women with adult children have told me to stay single and remain childless. lol I love my nieces, and I know Scott and Laura are genuinely happy, but I'm not capable of doing what they do. For some of us, it's better that we not have children.
The mentoring thing has been going OK. My little brother isn't very interested in doing much beyond basketball and swimming, so we haven't been on many outings lately. I'd rather go places and do different things, but in the end, it's not about me. He has been in New Jersey since June and won't be back until the first week of August, so we haven't gotten together in a while.
well, keep optimistic. it can be slow work earning the trust of kids (my work with high schoolers has shown me that), but you are doing something awesome.
We'll see what comes of it. I'm hoping he comes around and becomes more willing to do other things, but if all we do is play basketball and hang out, that's what we do.