I May Be Mentally Disordered

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Back to doin' the mess around

Cheap and easy; it's a way of life for some people, a means of survival for others, and the defining characteristic of the American Dream in a world where work is frowned upon and concepts like "earned" have been replaced by "entitled". Right now, I'm earning a new respect for painting, while at the same time paying some dues. I started blocking in the colors for my latest 'drawing', and have been forced to play with watercolors for the first time in this existence. Right now, things are not pretty, in fact they are downright awful.

Watercolors simply do not suit my way of thinking/moving/working, so fuck them. The watercolor here is terrible. Sure, it's my first, but it's the fourth failure in a row in my attempt to create a landscape. The large drawing/painting is still in the very early stages, but I'm struggling with the tools I am being forced to use and the amount of paint it takes to cover a canvas that is 60x48. Did I mention cheap earlier? You wanna know why paintings aren't cheap? It's because paint isn't cheap. I'm not even going to divulge how much paint, primer, and canvas is involved in this monstrosity, but it's more than most would probably be willing to spend and only have the very beginnings of an image. Piss on it, it's only money.

The real point is that these pieces represent first steps on a journey that may never end. I may have some talent, I may only be kidding myself, but the one thing I do have is a desire to master acrylics and oils so that I can use them in as familiar a way as I use a pencil or pen. That means lots of practice, lots of failed pieces, and (Jesus/Jehovah/Allah/Vishnu/Buddha help me) some patience. Somehow, I have to find a way to be patient with myself, something I am not known for. Maybe this will be the last piece of my puzzle, or the straw that breaks my overextended back. Only time will tell. For now, enjoy my fumbling and the thought that you could do this too, because you most certainly, most definitely could. :)

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