Sunday, October 21, 2007

Biketoberfest...or not

I wanted to write something about Biketoberfest, but it just wouldn't come together into any sort of cohesive union, so I'll just give a brief summary. Went over Thursday night with the bike in a trailer, got a lot of good riding in on Friday, and called it a weekend Saturday morning (I had a friend's wedding in Tarpon Springs to attend that morning). The rain came Saturday, so pops and I loaded up the bikes and headed home together (the original plan was to ride out together, me riding back Saturday, him driving back Sunday). Given that I was there on Friday, not much was going on, but there was plenty to see and do. Overall, I would rate the trip a good time, and I plan to get back for Bike Week next year.

My hope was that a day or two away from my familiar surroundings, paired with plenty of riding, would clear my mind of what has been troubling me recently. To some degree, I suppose it did, but not to the extent I was hoping for. Things are so confused and unclear right now, I am at a loss for what to do. One person I had thought trustworthy is now someone I am uncertain about, while another person I always thought I should be cautious with seems more and more like someone I can trust. Only time will reveal whether any decisions I make now are wise, but the clarity of hindsight does nothing to ease the stress of here and now.

I am trying to work on my paintings, but haven't made any progress on the baby picture since the last update I posted. That's going to change here in a few minutes, but I feel completely uninspired right now. In fact, I feel tired, uncertain, and tense. This is a problem that should not have ever been allowed to develop, and the person causing it knows this, but seems unable to do anything about it. There are so many unknowns in play for me that my Cancerian desire for stability is finding itself less and less satisfied.

I echo a friend's sentiments wishing that things were simpler, but as I said a couple of posts ago, life is not ever free of complications. Our only choice is to run from these complexities, or accept them and work within their fluid circumstance. My running days are long behind me, and I find myself wanting more and more to stand and face the coming storm. In different ways and for different reasons, both of the people spending so much time in my mindspace are worth braving the maelstrom.


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Now playing: Radiohead - All I Need
via FoxyTunes

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Posted by Erik @ 10/21/2007 01:34:00 AM