Sunday, November 04, 2007

Bars, bikes, and booze

I couldn't pick up a girl in a bar to save my life. I don't have the type of charm necessary to pull off a one night stand, and my time spent in bars was about getting drunk with friends, not finding a girl to spend the night with. Yet, I didn't ever really have a problem being around the type of people who were into that version of Russian Roulette, which is a good thing, because I went barhopping with a bunch of bikers on Friday night and "getting some ass" was all I heard about the whole-fucking-night!

Now, I know that I could probably get laid more often - a comatose person could get laid more often than I do - were I to give it some(any?) genuine effort. Could I score every night out? Hell no - I'd be lucky to find a willing soul once a year, assuming an every-weekend work ethic, but among males, only those with wealth, fame, uncanny charm, or power enjoy success rates approaching 100%. You wouldn't know it by listening to some of the guys I was hanging with on Friday. Don't get me wrong, they were a fun group and I discovered a genuinely cool bar during our extended lap around the Palm Harbor area, but these guys were preoccupied with "pussy", "trim", and "ass" in the same way a dog is concerned with cars. Assuming they had all bedded as many women as they claimed, my only conclusion would be that they had slept with nearly every woman in central Florida at one time or another between them.

Needless to say, we had some philosophical differences, but none of that really mattered to me. As preachy as people think I am, when it comes right down to it, I would rather let people do what they want than try to stop them. So I let them do their thing and I did mine, the end result being that we all had a good time. Every bar we hit, we made an entrance - bikes roaring onto the sidewalk, engines thudding off the buildings, pedestrians standing aside, some smiling while others rolled their eyes. I have to admit, it was fun. :)

In my opinion, the best time of the night was had at Slugs on Racetrack Road. By 10:00, the bar was packed full with an enthusiastic crowd, and the space was filled with a surprising number of beautiful women...unusual for a bar around these parts. One rider in our group knew the owners, so we were introduced to their lovely female staff members, and the seeds of a Tuesday night bike night were planted.

Ironically, Slugs seemed to be the last place most of the group wanted to be, despite the high loveliness ratio. I questioned why they would want to leave the best venue of the night, and their response was that most of the girls were there with boyfriends. I disagreed, but they were moving on anyway. Before we had been there an hour, all but one rider and myself left for another bar I had no interest in visiting, so we stayed put for a while to enjoy the atmosphere.

By this time, my sole remaining riding buddy was almost certainly well on his way to being drunk, which made kick starting his '55 Panhead(gorgeous bike!) something of a struggle. After a minute of trying, the old lady fired, and we were off. Again, I'm not going to stop a grown human being from doing what they want to do, especially when I hardly know them, but I did keep an extra eye out. I made sure to cover myself while we were rolling out and would have done something, had the guy been weaving all over. As it happened, we made it to our destination without issue and no one was injured or put in harm's way.

After Slugs, V's Martini Bar was a huge letdown. The air was heavy with smoke, the atmosphere more reserved, and the scenery less interesting. We hung around for a bit before the rest of our crew made their entrance, and the night progressively wound down. By 1:30 in the AM, I was on my way home, riding sober and alone. As far as I know, all of my one-nighter hunting comrades went home alone as well, though the sober thing was debatable. Would I do another night of bar hopping? Maybe, but it's pretty clear that the bar scene simply isn't for me any longer. The smoke sucks, I rarely drink, and I have all the charm one would expect from someone with a mild case of social retardation, so there's really little point these days. :)

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Posted by Erik @ 11/04/2007 12:19:00 AM