Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Funny thing about Christmas
My Christmas gift list is relatively short and simple, as far as Christmas lists go. The 'rents, the Twins, my friend's 2 daughters, and now my BBBS little brother. Not too bad, since none of them ask for much and most of them are fairly easy to shop for. Unfortunately, spending money on others makes spending money on myself that much easier. Almost subliminally, I tend to spend a great deal of money on myself around the holidays. Whether it be a new STi drive train for Scooby (Winter of 2006), or a pair of Fat Daddy 50-spoke wheels for Audrey (this coming Saturday), or countless other examples of holiday spending splendor, loosening the purse strings to give makes firing up my desire to receive that much easier.
I suppose this is one of the advantages of always being single at the holidays, I can count on others to get me the things I need and for which I have no desire to shop (i.e. clothes), while I go about spending the big bucks on the things I want most. Of course, I realize that engaging in such blatant materialistic indulgences is the antithesis of spiritual ascension, but I'll be damned if it doesn't become difficult, particularly when the gifts in question will end up being parts of the machines that go vroom.
Of course, I have to find a way to justify spending such ridiculous amounts of money on machine components I have no real need for. Luckily, I am not ever short on justifications. This year, my reasoning is that I have survived one of the most trying six months I have been forced to deal with in a long, long time. From problems with people, to problems with work, to the mountain that is school, to seemingly endless sources of stress, it's been a rough term. What do I have to show for it? A pervasive sense of alienation, physical manifestations of stress overload, and 4 more 4.0s.
Is it all worth it? Absolutely. If I can keep this up for one more year, I will have a genuine shot at graduating near the top of my class, which should go a long way toward redeeming myself in my own eyes for having wasted so many opportunities before finally embracing this one. If I manage to graduate at or near the top of my class, my odds of being accepted to SAIC, RISD, or Yale certainly start to look better. Some of my instructors are starting to take notice of my work and my confidence in that work is starting to grow, so opportunities to show may start to appear. I'm busting my ass, and work is doing its best to break my spirit, but persistence is essential in the pursuit of transcendence. After all, everything that troubles and soothes is temporary.
So I choose to reward myself for my persistence as a form of encouragement, the carrot before my horse, if you will...and even if you won't. The Fat Daddy 50s are gorgeous, laced wheels that give nostalgic bikes like mine just a hint of gangster. To be honest, the deal I'm getting on the Fatties is so good that I'd be a fool to pass it up, particularly since these are the wheels I have envisioned going on the bike since I first crossed paths with a picture of them back in May. Sometimes you just have to move when an opportunity presents itself and this is one of those times. Besides, no one else is going to buy them for me! lol
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