Friday, November 14, 2008

Expectations...

Surrendering expectations is the key to psychological and spiritual salvation. This is the core of the Buddhist idea that desire is the root of all suffering. Expectations are a form of desire, perhaps the most insidious form, because an expectation is desire manifested with a skin of entitlement stretched over its illusory nature, so that it seems somehow solid. In reality, expectation is desire given imaginary solidity and validation, so that it becomes something accepted and anticipated in a way that generates a perception that the expected event is inevitable, or at the very least highly probable. Of course, there are other forms of expectation. As beings walking the Earth with minds clouded by expectation, expectation dictated by circumstances and perceptions, humans are intrinsically reliant upon anticipated outcomes informed by experience, which are effectively little more than faith.

Where the average American might expect to live life placed somewhere between relative comfort and absurd levels of excess, while the average Ethiopian might only expect to face another day of starvation and misery, struggling to survive. For the time being, discard the moral implications of these contradictory realities, because they are irrelevant, because there is no reason to believe that, were their roles reversed, either person would act any differently living in the other's circumstance.

These expected realities are irrelevant because the future is an unknown quantity. What happens next is entirely beyond any sort of absolute control. In reality, the future is just another expectation, an illusion we cling to, so the American could see his/her way of life collapse, and the Ethiopian might see the weather, and his/her fortunes turn, so that food is once again adequate, and the vestiges of civilization have the potential of being reestablished. Our expectations are transient and often times fickle, they rarely have to have anything to do with reality.

His mind pondered these things while answering emails, submitting tasks to Mother, and sipping coffee. Hey Jude by the Beatles buzzed in his headphones, an interesting counterpoint to his mental wandering. Self-awareness had exposed him to enough of his own illusory expectations, and the trivial nature of their substance, but he was not yet wise enough to fully grasp the broader picture being painted. Hopefully, that will come in time, or if time runs out, in death, or perhaps the after life, or the next life, whatever form it might take. That was the beauty of such thinking, as he conceived it. These types of thoughts were infinite and potentially endless in their scope. They would only end when his mind finally went completely quiet. He was absolutely aware that there may be no conjoining such ideas with reality as it is lived, but did not see this potential impossibility as a torment, but rather a lifelong source of intellectual exercise. Something to occupy his mind as human civilization goes through its endless contortions.

His own expectations, of himself, his mind, his body, his world, are all mistaken attempts to generate a predictable world fueled by his desire for some (any?) level of greater understanding, but in desiring this knowledge he only guarantees his persistent failure to achieve it. To move forward without expectations of any kind is to move forward with any hope of real insight. Expectation generates a bias, and that bias can easily hide truth.

In his ears, the Beatles sing...

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
And anytime you feel the pain
Hey Jude refrain
Don't carry the world up on your shoulder
For well you know that it's a fool
Who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Hey Jude don't let me down
you have found her
now go and get her
remember to let her into your heart
then you can start to make it better
so let it out and let it in
hey Jude begin
you're waiting for someone to perform with
and don't you know that it's just you
hey Jude you do
the movement you need is on your shoulder
hey Jude don't make it bad
take a sad song and make it better
remember to let her under your skin
then you begin to make it better, better, better, better, better!

Laaaa La lalalalaaaa lalalaaaaa Hey Jude!

Posted by Erik @ 11/14/2008 08:08:00 PM