Thursday, March 01, 2007
The thing about someday
Is that it never quite seems to get here. More often than not, the opportunity for "someday" comes and passes without us even realizing it. Before you know it, you're getting old, getting tired, and losing faith in someday. I've spent many a day dreaming about someday, and I'm not sure the idea is much of a comfort at this age. We live in a world where Anna Nicole Smith makes perfect sense. I want a place where women like Audrey Hepburn roam city streets and suburban sidewalks. Someday has a way of wearing us down. It digs into our optimism like a maggot, embedding itself just beneath the surface where it festers and squirms. The idea that someday things will be this, or someday they will be that, becomes less of a call to faith and more a carrot suspended before the horse.
We are inspired by those whose someday became today and we all recognize that such prosperity is achievable, but we cannot ever be certain we will be one of the ones to prosper. So it is that I am unsure these days. In fact, I'm no longer certain what prosperity even means. Material wealth is a non-starter...it's just not worth the time and energy expenditure. I like to say that I am aspiring to transcendence, but such a thing is so abstract that it is essentially impossible to quantify. And getting there, for feck's sake, how does one get there directly? The road is a winding, overgrown, hazardous mess shrouded in mystery and uncertainty. There are no maps available to us that have not been tainted by the hands of Man, so we're left with little more than imperfect directions scribbled down by hairless monkeys. Our most popular cartographers believed the world was flat and that the sun orbited Earth.
The bottom line is that I'm tired of being confined by time.
I want to be put in stasis and left there for a while...I'm so tired of thinking about someday and possibilities, especially given the fatiguing nature of the here and now. There has to be a place for people like me. I want to wander out where the sheep dare not roam, where my ideas aren't strange or unrealistic, and where I can get away from all the social programming that tugs at my mind. I want to make someday today, and I want to experience it with my eyes opened wide to its wonders. This place has so little to offer in the way of things that interest me, it makes someday feel akin to never.
I stopped left most of my materialistic aspirations behind years ago. Those things are like dog toys and have nothing to do with a real someday. What I want are those things that really matter, those things that lift our souls to freedom, and free us of our physical limitations. That is a someday worth dreaming of, even if it is the least likely to be achieved. If I don't get there, I hope you do.
By those who ne’er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.
Not one of all the purple host
Who took the flag to-day
Can tell the definition,
So clear, of victory,
As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Break, agonized and clear
- Emily Dickinson
Labels: life, spirituality, whining
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