Saturday, October 28, 2006

Our peers, riding that express elevator to osolesence

Last, but certainly not least, my peers: The late-20-early-30-something, Gen-X, slacker generation. Admittedly, I’m on the tail end of the generation X thing, so I can’t claim to have a direct connection to that particular demographic. For the sake of this rant, I’ll stick with what I have seen going through my 20s, living and interacting with my fellow 20-somethings.

What a mess. People my age have taken their parents’ willful abandonment of values and made it a form of faith. Materialism is God, TV shows and the web are the primary sources for nearly all cultural awareness, and intelligence is marketed as being a flaw, unless you are using it to belittle or berate another human being. Love is a joke at best, an outright lie at worst. Relationships are exercises in drama, deceit, and mutual selfishness.

Apathy is a plague. With good reason, we have lost faith in our institutions, but we have also lost faith in ourselves. Instead of embracing the failures of previous generations as a call to bring about real change in this lifetime, my generation(I can hear The Who) see these ancestral failings as a precedent permitting them to dig a deeper hole. Drug use is more common than ever. Promiscuity is mainstream, STD infections are at all time highs, abortion has become a form of birth control, and divorce has become the new American pastime. No wonder baseball's popularity has dwindled. On top of all that, our generation is the first in US history that will very likely end up in a worse financial position than our parents, as we grow older.

The system is failing, and this country’s 20-somethings are doing nothing substantive to change that. In a society that sees record bankruptcies, a divorce rate approaching 65%, and an ever widening gap between rich and poor, most people in their 20s keep themselves busy with distractions, rather than digging into something of worth. Think of how many people in the 20-29 demographic, that you know personally, who have their proverbial shit together. Somehow, we have bought into this bullshit notion that adulthood really starts at 30, when in reality, the most important years of one’s life are those between 18 and 30. This is the part of our lives when we set priorities, determine values, and decide what we stand for...at least, it used to be.

Many people have children in their 20s, without having first determined what their life is going to stand for. And yes, every life SHOULD stand for something. What does a person with no sense of purpose have to pass on to their child/children? What do they have to offer the larger world around them? Not much, honestly. Being average is not, and should not, be good enough. When I say average, I am not talking about monetarily, I am talking about mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So much of the materialistic bullshit we’re fed contributes to our species’ perpetual failures, that the answer is obviously not in things. So long as a person’s basic needs are being met, they have an opportunity to become something much more, where intelligence, morality, and happiness are concerned.

The foolish and the weak will continue to buy into the same old lies, live the same old lives, and bring about the same old results. The intelligent minority will see the inevitable failures of such actions and make more reasoned, proactive decisions. In this way, my generation will be no different than those that have come before it, as motivated intelligence is always in short supply in all societies. The question is, how long can this particular society keep this up?

Each day we have more poor than the day before, our government becomes more corrupt, our families become more fragmented, our values become more diluted, and our spirits become less a part of our lives. We are a generation living for the moment, looking for immediate gratification, and starved for vision. I’ve always liked Tyler Durden’s monologues from Fight Club, because they all recognize the vacuous nature of modern existence in one context or another. This is one of my favorites:

I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived -- an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables; or they're slaves with white collars.

Advertisements have them chasing cars and clothes, working jobs they hate so they can buy shit they don't need. We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. We have no great war, or great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We were raised by television to believe that we'd be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars -- but we won't. And we're learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed-off.

We are the quiet young men who listen until it's time to decide.


What do we do about it? Most of us will do nothing, but there are options for the rest. This is long enough, so I’ll get to that some other time.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Leaders? They're lemmings!

Our leaders: The problem is simple, they no longer lead. Imagine a real leader. This is what I envision when I picture my ideal leadership figure: he or she is dignified, dedicated, respectful of integrity, aware of tradition, charismatic, courageous, energized, and strong willed. Now think of our major political and social figures. Anyone fit that bill? No one that I can think of. In fact, no one even comes close. George W Bush? You must be shitting me. Dick Cheney? No fucking way. Hillary Clinton? Not in this life. Barack Obama? I’ll admit, he has been making a lot of noise lately, but he is still very much an unproven entity. I like what he has to say, but the fact remains that he hasn’t done much to back up the rhetoric. The rest of the Democratic party is a farce, at best, and the Republicans have proven themselves to be the hypocrites and liars most non-Republicans expected them to be.

Local leadership isn’t any better. Just last night, I heard the account of a local business lobbying the Hillsborough County Commission to pump sewage into the Hillsborough River that is being spun as “river augmentation”. Pumping sewage into a river we use for drinking water…”augmentation”. Why aren’t these people being shot?

And our social leaders…the people who steer political and social movements are on the same basic level. TV’s talking heads and their books seem to be setting the tone, and in many cases the direction, of political discourse in this country. People like Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, and Rush Limbaugh steer the right wing ship, while Michael Moore, Al Franken, Arianna Huffington, and a host of celebrities keep trying to assert themselves as the voice of the left. None of these people have enough courage to become elected officials, and actually put action where their big mouths are. Huffington ran in California's last gubernatorial race, but was soundly beaten by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do Californians still qualify as people? Anyway, people seem to think that these men and women have some knowledge of politics, and accept what they say as something worth paying attention to. In reality, they and their opinions are as effective in making social change as Rick Wagoner’s (CEO of GM) strategy for achieving automotive excellence. Ironically, Sean Hannity is pimping American SUVs these days. An obsolete, ignorant mouthpiece peddling obsolete, insignificant vehicles…how fitting. Anyone who does not realize that the objective of people like Coulter, Hannity, O’Reilly and their ilk is to sell books, get eyes on ad spots, and push egomaniacal, personal agendas, has to be a fool. That goes for the those on the so called right, as well as those who would claim to be left.

In reality, the truth is somewhere in the middle. Most intelligent people in America know this, but very few politicians or social figures are brave enough to acknowledge it. Somewhere in our recent history, the powers that be got the idea that polarizing a nation is the best way to go about leading it forward. What they are really doing is using the divide and conquer methodology to prolong their own longevity. Whether they be TV personalities or politicians, they are wrong. They have no reason to unify the people, because they have no desire to truly serve the interests of the people. Instead, they bow to the will of corporate sponsors, give in to the bribes of corporate lobbyists (hi Jack Abramoff!), and continually sell the country out from beneath an apathetic, cynical, willfully ignorant public.

The people who are making a difference are the unheard, unseen, increasingly rare minority of Americans who still care enough to be informed, active, and involved. They volunteer in their communities, vote their conscience, stand up for what they believe in, and understand the importance of good in countering the world's many evils. Sadly, they are far and few between.

Which brings me to the real source of 90% of our problems…the proles. Tune in next time when I rant into the endless nether regions of the internet about my peers, who are, in many ways, the source of everything that is wrong with America today, as well as the potential solution! Dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnn...

Thursday, October 26, 2006

We must save our own souls

We must save our own souls, because the chances of my generation, and those that follow, learning anything of substance from our elders, our leaders, and most of our peers, is a longshot at best. We are in effect being forced to relearn old lessons, as our predecessor’s disrespect of history has put us in a position to once again relive it. Spiritually vacant, morally hollow, and motivationally empty, our elders have failed us and themselves. Not only have they failed, they have damaged our culture and crippled our chances for prosperity through their failings. Of course, this is all my opinion, an opinion formed through general observation and experience, not focused research and hard numbers, so it could be a completely invalid viewpoint. Be that as it may, this is my blog and I will rant if I want to. :)

First, our elders: Think about the role elders have played in most civilizations. They have historically been the standard bearers, the storytellers, the teachers, the mentors, and the examples for successive generations to follow. At one point in its history, America had elders that filled this role, for better or worse. I could go back to the founding fathers and run through examples of tradition, the positives and negatives, the ups and downs, but who wants to read all of that? Skip a century or so, and you arrive at the first half of the 20th century. The first fifty years of the most tumultuous century in US history was filled with examples of hardship, sacrifice, and overcoming. From those who weathered the Civil War as children, saw the end of slavery, and sought to move America forward at the turn of the century, to those who fought for social change in the 20s, survived the Great Depression, and were asked to fight and die in World War II. These people lived hard lives, but learned the principles of survival, the value of work, and a sense of duty. They had elders to teach them, and life experience to refine them.

Fast forward 60 years, and we find ourselves burdened with a large number of elders who are incapable of filling any purposeful role, beyond that of consumers and dependents. Instead of growing old with grace, sharing the wisdom only experience and time can show us, they load up on Viagra, head to the plastic surgeon’s office, visit therapists, file for divorce, live on television, and seek to perpetually extend their romanticized adolescence. A small minority of our seniors have anything worth passing on to the next generation, because so few have gained any real wisdom as they have grown physically older. They are the generation that inherited America from those who fought World War II. We call them Baby Boomers, but their demographic has been more of a bust. Granted, they have had their social and economic successes, but even in success, they have found ways to fail. The gap between rich and poor in this country is now wider than it has ever been. Racism is not dead, but the Civil Rights movement made significant strides. Unfortunately, most of that progress was made by people who are no longer with us. In many ways, their politics and ethics have nearly destroyed the middle class, either through greed(junk bonds, Enron, WorldCom, etc), sloth(neglecting their own retirement, growing obsolete in the workplace, failing to be involved in their own governance, etc), or plain stupidity(see just about everything else, from the onslaught of drug use to the mainstreaming of promiscuity, and the subsequent rise in crime and disease).

These are the people who discarded the traditions of their parents, embraced the myth that better living through chemistry was a plausible reality, waged war on the concepts of marriage and family, diluted the meaning of love, and made greed good. They burdened us with a potentially crippling national debt, have become a massive Social Security obligation, and have left a diseased government for their children to deal with. They are predominantly overweight, politically ignorant (save issues tied to Social Security and Medicare, of course), and are more worried about their comforts than their legacy. In many ways, the story they have written is one of self gratification, shortsightedness, lost opportunity, and wasted potential. We still make war, our family units are falling apart, love has become something of a running joke, the phrase “American values” has become an oxymoron, our “happiness” is more dependent on chemicals than ever, and our collective purpose is more about consumerism and exploitation, than growing a genuine, unified, culture of togetherness. Boomers are the hippy generation. They have systematically destroyed most of the traditions that had been established for them, while simultaneously betraying nearly every ideal that compelled them to destroy said traditions in the first place. In effect, they are left with nothing of real importance. Some of them are wealthy beyond their wildest dreams, but most have financial trouble and uncertainty ahead of them. Most damaging of all will be their legacy of displaced blame. The fault was always with the politicians, their parents, their neighbors, the other guy’s kids, the executives, anyone, but themselves.

They are the “me” generation, and they refuse to take personal responsibility for what has happened to the country they inherited. In the 1950s, they were handed a nation full of optimism. It was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, in fact it was in need of a major dose of reality and social fairness, but it was an optimistic place. Fifty years later, you would be hard-pressed to find someone who does not have grave concerns about some aspect of modern America. That optimism has been replaced by cynicism, that sense of possibility reduced to sarcasm and apathy. Shitting away all of that potential and optimism in less than 60 years is no small feat. Obviously, some of what has happened was beyond their control, but there is no denying the role their generation has played in the dissolution of Americana.

Next up, a rant about our leadership, who are not necessarily our elders…hooray!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

General bits and pieces

I’ve been stuck in something of an endless loop of simultaneously idealistic and deflating thought lately. There really isn’t much else to talk about, but I am going to force myself, because I am tired of thinking/talking about the perpetual motion machine that keeps the wheels in mind eternally spinning…

I’m a 4.0 student. Despite the fact that I have only taken a single class, I see it as something of an accomplishment, if only a very minor one. This term sees me taking Statistical Methods, and Society, Technology, and Environment, what Eckerd terms an “ environmental perspective” class. Statistics I am definitely apprehensive about, as I am not a lover of mathematics, but the prof claims to take a research focused approach to the formulae, so it might actually end up being beneficial, since my employer’s singular purpose in this world is research and statistical analysis. I am undecided about the ST&E class, since I haven’t had a chance to read into the text and am not sure what to expect. There’s no telling what will happen this term, but I remain optimistic…I want to be Phi Beta Kappa when this thing is said and done, so keeping my GPA up is paramount.

Scooby’s heart transplant is still in the works. I have the STi transmission and rear-assembly on hold with a company in Arizona. The primary driveshaft will be aluminum and come from the Driveshaft Shop. Still working on a clutch and flywheel combination, but will probably be using Crawford’s Max Street clutch with a 15lb. STi or ACT flywheel. That will take care of the drivetrain, which means the next order of business would be putting a motor package together. That should be fun…I just hope to have everything installed and running before the weather gets warm! Cold air=more horsepower. :) Good times…

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Another vid

This one was too good to pass up. I want a Nissan Pathfinder now. :)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Filling the time

I was thinking about something interesting as I fell asleep last night. If you added up the entire time I have dated/been in a relationship over the span of my life, it would account for less than 1% of my time on this Earth. Actually, it would be a fraction of a fraction of 1%, and to be honest, I have mixed feelings about that fact.

On the one hand, there is some disappointment, since I do recognize that my youth is over, and that I will not ever have the opportunities I have had in the past as life goes forward. As we age, opportunity dwindles, it is just a natural effect of the process. I am OK with the idea, and genuinely feel no sadness or sorrow about the way things have unfolded. The realization that my way of thinking has no place in this modern world is something that settled in as part of my psychology years ago. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not built for relationships in the real world, with real people, so it's neither some great tragedy, nor a reason to bemoan my fate.

My disappointment arises not from a lack of opportunities for the physical joys that come with dating and relationships, as most people seem to think it would/will as I grow older. The fact is, I have had plenty of chances, and passed on nearly all of them willingly. You can't regret doing what you believe is right, and you can't be disappointed with being true to yourself. What really disappoints is how few opportunities any of us have to really experience love in this life. Then again, love is different things to different people. There is the TV version, which can last a month, a week, or a few hours. This is the version most people seem to experience in their youth. Then there is the kind of love that seeps into your soul and changes your world, hopefully for the better.

This more pervasive, penetrating variety is the kind that life seems to reserve for a very, very limited portion of the species. In my life, I have only gotten a glimpse of it, and then only from a distance. That is a difficult thing to reconcile, given that I, like anyone, would like to think I am worthy of experiencing such things. Alas, a miniscule minority of us are destined to know it, while the rest can only dream, if they are fortunate enough to dream at all. I'm fine with being a dreamer, if that is my fate, because it is better than the alternative, but I would have liked to have known what it felt like once in my youth. As we age in the real world, we naturally develop a certain level of cynicism. So rare are the genuine experiences and people in our lives, I feel it is only natural, and to some degree is beyond our control. I know that I will not ever look at the world with the eyes of an innocent again, if I ever had the chance to begin with, and this underlying cynicism will have an affect, whether I am aware of it or not. Such is the nature of living among, and dealing with, people.

I do take some satisfaction in the feeling that I have filled my time on this Earth productively. Where I could have spent my hours living for someone else, or mourning the lack thereof, I used the opportunity to read, write, create, exercise, learn, explore, and expand myself. My intention is to continue to do so until there is no longer life in this body. I feel as if I have a better understanding of myself and my reality than I would have, had I been continually distracted by the dramas and demands relationships bring about as a matter of course. In the process, I rediscovered and redefined my concept of spirituality, finding many personal truths that may have remained hidden from view, had I not had the time and energy to seek them out. In no way is my journey complete, but I do believe it to be further along than it would be otherwise. I believe that this is all that really matters to the spirit that fuels our living.

Reading stories like Frankl's, or the accouns of Socrates, or the poetry of Robert Frost, confirm and reaffirm this notion that what really matters in life is life, not the silly distractions, the temporary frustrations, or the momentary lapses. The larger arc of our lives is what holds value, not the passing pleasures and pains. How we shape that arc is what defines us, and so far, I am mostly satisfied with the way I have defined myself. That sense of satisfaction can only grow as I complete school, do some traveling, and continue learning. One would hope, anyway...

One more...for now

And it's car related. The 6-wheel Tyrrell P34 Grand Prix car. This car actually won a race, but was never very successful. Definitely an odd looking contraption. Jackie Stewart was 3-years into his retirement when this video was filmed. The driving here is more for the sake of demonstration, so nothing too fancy, but it's always a pleasure to watch an artist at work.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Sticking with video for a bit

Because I do not have anything particularly interesting to write about at the moment. Dove, the cosmetic company, released a 60-second video called Evolution. It's not making its way around Blogland and found its way here. I must say, it's nicely ironic to see a cosmetic company bashing the status quo in cosmetics and manufactured beauty. I wish I had the Photoshop skills of the graphics artists at work here...

Monday, October 16, 2006

Maserati MC12 at Hockenheim

Holy shyte in a shitstorm is this car hot! Derived of the Enzo, built as a homologation special so that Maserati could go racing...this car gets me aroused in all sorts of inappropriate ways. Click the video, crank the speakers, and fall in love. :)


Friday, October 13, 2006

Those rascally Republicans

So, Mark Foley likes to push his penis into the rectal cavities of men. Not really a big deal in a world where anal invasion is considered somewhat tame. What is interesting is that he is a Republican who was soliciting anal amore from an underage page. Somehow, clever marketing engineers convinced the proletariat that Republicans represent honesty, integrity, and good, old-fashioned, American values. Intelligent people realize just how heavily laden such images are with bullshit, but it seems that most Americans are willing to buy a polished turd, so long as the salesman is a heterosexual, Christian, male. Step outside of that demographic, and you're playing with your political life.

It will be interesting to see what effect this has on other, openly gay Republicans. There has to be some backlash, as Repubs have been tapping the evangelical machine in middle America for over a decade, using their network of Church and civil associations to line up a legion of "vote how you're told" supporters. Without them, Bush very likely loses the race for the Republican nomination in 2000...how different things could have been with John McCain, we'll never know, but I think most intelligent humans long for the lost possibilities. Now we enter the most important period of this year's political season with a Republican controversy in Congress, a controversial, lame duck administration in office, huge national debt, massive trade deficits with China, healthcare concerns that continue to loom, a slow economy, and a slowing housing market. For reasons no one seems able to explain rationally, we have cheaper gas, but OPEC is looking at a production cut, so even that bit of good news will be drying up in the near future.

So one has to wonder, will the Repubs maintain their Congressional majority for much longer? Do the Dems have enough courage and integrity to take a possible majority and do something worthwhile with it? My best guess, which is admittedly less informed than it once may have been, is that the answers to those questions are no and no. I think the Repubs will lose their majority, if not in this election, then two years from now. The Dems, being the directionless cowards that they are, will falter and squander an opportunity to make real change. If Hillary Clinton runs for President in 2008, chances are good that they will fail to retake the White House, meaning a divided government and a deepening of the ineffectiveness that has turned the US government into a travesty throughout the past 30 years.

If Repubs can hang on to the evangelical vote, they might hang on to their position of dominance, but I think it is pretty clear that the Republican Revolution (seems like a sick joke, in hindsight) is over. The party of values really has none, which should surprise no one with an IQ over 85. I found it amusing that Condi Rice recently referred to the mother of a gay official's partner as the man's mother-in-law, despite speaking out against gay marriage. Hypocrisy is a way of life for these people, but then they are not unlike most of the evangelicals and Americans voting them into office.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

First term ends, another begins

I have been busy as HELL lately! My first term at Eckerd ended last night, and all signs seem to point toward A-town, which is a relief. The next term starts on October 21st, so I am only getting one week off before it is time to start hitting the books once again. I plan to catch up on some reading that is NOT class related. Likewise, I'll get back to blogging my thoughts more regularly, now that I am not writing paper after paper after paper. For the first time in my life, I was literally burining out. My final paper should have been the easiest of all, instead it became a monumental challenge.

The topic was the interplay of love and purpose in life. My thesis centered around two works from class, Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning(this should be required reading for all humans!!!), and a film called Tuesdays with Morrie. Tuesdays is based on a book by Mitch Albom. If you haven't seen it, check it out. It's excellent, despite originally being a made for TV movie. I plan to read the book when I have some time, which will be a while. The final selection I cited was Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

All of the selections were tied together by the concepts of dedication to purpose, and love as the highest aspiration of Man. I originally thought I would blow through this particular essay in no time, but I did anything but. Between Friday the 6th and Wednesday the 11th, I rewrote, restructured, or recreated a vast majority of the paper at least three times. In the end, I tied it up the best I could and turned in what I had. My gut tells me it will be an 'A' paper, but it definitely was not the strong statement I was hoping to make when I started writing.

If there is one author I have come to hold in a higher plane of respect, it would be Frankl. No one I know has survived anything even approaching the hardship of a Nazi concentration camp, but hardly anyone I know is as philosophical and 'together' as Frankl was after having spent three years in places like Auschwitz and the Dachau complex. Three years of torture, starvation, and degradation didn't break the man. Instead, they strengthened him, and he returned to the world with a greater appreciation for life, a stronger concept of meaning, and a reverance for the idea of love. People shit on life, piss on meaning, and wipe their asses with love everyday. We whine and complain, when in reality we are generally soft, incredibly coddled, and largely self-obsessed. Even the poorest of our poor live in better conditions than nearly 50% of the world's population. I have come to realize that most of my countrymen are neither worthy of their freedoms, nor deserving of their comforts.

At one point in his narrative, Frankl declares a simple devide in humanity. He states that there are only two true races, the decent and the indecent. The decent are necessarily a minority, as it is always more work to be honest, honorable, and respectful in life. But he points out examples of camp inmates overcoming the digusting state of their lives, expressing decency, even as their world was being destroyed by men who were worse than rabid animals. I have had a long running fascination with World War II, and this, combined with my affections for existentialism, made reading Frankl's book something of a revelatory event. I find myself wishing for an opportunity to speak with the man. Sadly, he died of natural causes in 1997.

It is right to accept that decency, in the forms of dignity, self-respect, honesty, compassion, and honor, will always be an underdog in our material reality. The world's cowards, liars, fools, and egomaniacs will always outnumber the good. I think this is the natural order of things. Real leaders must be in the minority, and decency must always be struggling against the onslaught of indecency. Frankl makes a case for the value of tension and struggle. After reading his thoughts, I am inclined to agree. In fact, most of it falls right in line with the basic premise behind much of the Eastern and Western philosophy I have gravitated toward in my life. We need the push and pull, the proverbial yin and yang. It is a natural part of the balance. My only problem is with the idea that decent people should be passive or quiet about their beliefs, while the indecent dominate mainstream society. So many good people sit idly by, even as the shitstacks of this world push them aside, so that they can continue to soil the Earth with their presence.

It's a shame, but it is necessary. Knowing that doesn't make accepting it any easier...

p.s. The picture is of the real Morrie Schwartz. Another guy I would have liked to have a chat with.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Native prayers

I was googling Native American prayers, primarily because I was curious to see whether tribal prayers were still available to us today and subsequently, what they may have been about. I came across the following and felt like sharing:

As I Walk with Beauty
As I walk, as I walk
The universe is walking with me
In beauty it walks before me
In beauty it walks behind me
In beauty it walks below me
In beauty it walks above me
Beauty is on every side
As I walk, I walk with Beauty.


According to this site, the above is a traditional, Navajo prayer. The prayer, which looks very much like a poem, is an ode to the presence of beauty in all Earthly things. The connections to ancient philosophies like Buddhism and Taoism are obvious and encouraging. The beauty that seems to be evaporating from our species is still in evidence all around us. The weather has me musing on nature's beauty lately. :)

Great Spirit Prayer
Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind,
Whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear me; I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear your voice
Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.
Help me to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards me.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
Help me seek pure thoughts and act with the intention of helping others.
Help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy
Myself.
Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame.


Again, the theme of beauty in nature, but this time paired with the seemingly universal concept of the self as one's greatest adversary. If you read enough philosophy, you find this theme running through nearly all cultures on all continents. It would seem that this is one of humanity's integral truths...no matter where, no matter when, we have all struggled with ourselves. I read these things and I realize that there is no shame in struggling, so long as the stuggle does not blind us to the beauty available in our waking moments.

On a slightly unrelated note, my buddy Mark and his lovely lady Jen flew off to Barbados and got married September 23, 2006. Neither of them is likely to read this, but congratulations kids! :)