Sunday, July 30, 2006
We are so lucky to be where we are, with the luxury of time and questions
It's times like these that I become acutely aware of the luck I have benefited from in having been born where and when I was. Right now, Israeli and Lebanese civilians affected by the fighting between the IDF and Hezbollah are waking each morning in fear. Their world has gotten very small in a very short amount of time. For some it has been reduced to nothing more than the shoes on their feet and clothes on their backs. What was their home is rubble, what was their life is now dusty piles of broken dreams and memories to eventually be cleared away and discarded. Those who aren't killed still feel the effects as part of the ripple that is the psychological impact of living within range of either side's artillery and rockets.
The fact that people are living this way as I type this blog entry makes the point all the more poignant for me personally.
I woke up this morning to my alarm clock blaring the morning's news across an air conditioned room, pushed a button on my PC and leisurely read the news at my preferred internet outlets while inhaling a bowl of strawberry yogurt Cheerios. I got ready without any sense of urgency, brushed my teeth and headed to the office. My biggest concern at the time was getting my Eckerd registration in the mail, my corporate reimbursement paperwork filed and the books I was bringing in boxed up so that I could ship them back to Amazon. Most of the morning was spent sitting comfortably in my office chair, answering and filing the emails that I had received while on vacation last week.
The Boss' boss stopped by to ask about my vacation and fill me in on another group member who was admitted to the hospital the night before last with chest pains. Dave, who we'll call Manboy from now on because every blog has to have people with interesting nicknames, and I somehow ended up joking about his experience with the original Sims game. We laughed about the wealthy family he created and later destroyed out of boredom, the poor family he created to live in the wealthier family's shed and the affairs his characters ended up having with another buddy's Sims family. In other words, it was the usual Monday morning busy work and goofing off.
Not once did I have to worry about anything more serious than a few work tasks that were pending and when I would get a chance to make my morning oatmeal. And that has more or less been the story of my life to date. No local strife. No rampant criminal element, terrorist organizations or sense of impending doom. I was a suburbanite kid born to a middle class, blue collar family, so most of my stresses were manufactured by anxiety and insecurity, not real problems or primal struggles for survival.
Don't get me wrong, there isn't any guilt in that, but I do feel lucky and appreciative, because really, only luck separates me from one of the corpses in Haifa or Beirut. Luck, dumb probability, chance, whatever you prefer; that's it. This is why I have so much trouble with the concept of Destiny and even the literal definition of Fate. Likewise, this is why I simply cannot believe there is a sentient god watching over us or guiding us all through our Earthly days. To accept these concepts, I have to accept that the children and civilians killed as collateral damage anywhere at any time were meant to die this way. They were created, born and raised to be blown to pieces, burned alive, starved, maimed, psychologically and spiritually destroyed, etc. What kind of destiny is that? What kind of fate? What kind of god allows this to happen?
All the talk of "mysterious ways" and "grand plans" was lost on me ages ago. This is some god's plan, their grand vision? This is how it is all meant to be? Where are the miracles? Where are the angels, the prophets, the ethereal guides and their holy guidance? So far as I can see, they are nowhere to be found. In fact, aside from stories recorded by people who thought the Earth was the flat and sat at the center of the universe, these supernatural beings have been distressingly absent. That's not a bash, it is a simple statement of the facts as I understand them. Where did they go? What are they waiting for?
At some point in my life, I eventually grasped onto the concept of karma and spiritual goodness as protectors of our Earthly vessels and spirits, but at times like these I question even those ideas. How could children not have accrued enough good karma to shield them from such violent and horrific endings? How could so many people have seen their goodness falter to the point that the great spirit/energy/one/etc would not shield them from such suffering? When will the world's willful practitioners of violence have stacked up so much negative karma as to be wiped from the face of the Earth? A quick glance at history leads me to believe that no such cleansing is coming, despite what the old books and their various followers say.
I am inclined to conclude that the universe is indifferent or even hostile by nature, that it is ruled by much simpler laws than those conceived by Man and that the only guiding force is that of survival. The idea of God and angels watching over us vanished from my spiritual understanding years ago and there are times where I think my belief in karma and fate are little more than wishful thinking or worse, a fanciful denial of truth. With so much evidence to the contrary, it is difficult to continue believing that our behavior has any effect on our future beyond its immediate and obvious repercussions.
And that is a bit discouraging, as I still believe doing what is right and good elevates the spirit as well as the psyche, but accepting that it ultimately makes no difference beyond the confines of our heads and hearts takes some of the power out of the practice and chips away at my sense of optimism. All we can do is the little that we do, but the idea of this never being enough is a jagged pill to swallow. Unfortunately, it seems that swallowing that bitter tablet is all we can do. Maybe I just need more water...
Saturday, July 29, 2006
I ordered self-help books?
I didn't mean to, wouldn't have had I had a better understanding of what their subject matter truly was and the author's background, but I did. Now I have to read through the first one because I've already opened the damn thing. The author was recommended to me at some point, presumably because of my unorthodox ideas about spirituality.
Which books did I order? Power vs. Force, The Eye of the I and Truth vs. Falsehood, all by "Dr." David R. Hawkins. Now, had I bothered to look him up on Wikipedia previously, I would not have ordered the aforementioned books, but I didn't, I did and an Amazon gift certificate made taking a chance on completely unfamiliar material that much easier.
And here I am, 33 pages into the first book, Power vs. Force, and I am already turned off. I'm keeping an open mind, primarily because there seem to be a significant number of people who subscribe to the man's teachings, but reading a preface in which the author more or less proclaims himself to be an enlightened soul in a similar state to the Buddhist idea of Boddhisatva was a bit discouraging, primarily because it is hard to imagine a truly enlightened spirit would be selling his work, rather than distributing it freely. I have other qualms with the idea, but that is probably primary on my list.
They say a sucker is born every minute and it appears I might be one of those suckers. After having a look at the Wikipedia reference and doing some further research on the web, I've decided to return the two unopened books. I'll finish Power vs. Force, but the other two seem unnecessary, given the man's spotty track record and questionable credentials. I've got better things to do with my time than read the works of a new-thought spiritualist with a PhD from an unaccredited "diploma mill".
What have we learned? I am lazy at times and impulsive at others. Here my impulsive urge to purchase combined with my laziness is going to cost me shipping charges. Suckage, but it could have been worse...I could have opened all three books prior to reading a portion of the first. Small blessings, I suppose. :)
In other news, I went to see my friends from MuRdok at Gasoline Alley last night and they rocked the joint! The sound was better balanced than previous shows I had seen and our relatively small contingent of fans/friends was particularly vocal. At the beginning of their set, most of the crowd seemed to be undecided. By the end, most of the people in attendance were head nodding or even headbanging. Apparently their performance led to an invite from another band who's vocals guy was in the crowd, which means they could be playing even more shows this month and in the immediate future.
It was a good night and their sound seems to really be coming together. Their most recent tracks are getting more aggressive, which is fine by me and I would have to say they seem to be on to something. I wish them all the best and plan to make it out to future shows as often as I can. For more info, drop me an email or hit up their Myspace page.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Life's forks, Fate and Density, I mean Destiny
I have been thinking a great deal about the concept of Fate, my understanding of it and the implications of my belief in it. To believe in Fate, particularly in the literal definition of the word, is to acknowledge the possibility that Destiny is a real force in our lives. While I believe in my own version of Fate, I am not sold on the idea of Destiny. That said, there is some change creeping into my conceptualization of the Fate/Life and perhaps Destiny intersection.
The root of this renewed questioning is my return to school and my accceptance to Eckerd. Eckerd was one of the schools I dreamt of attending in my late teens. They were third on my list behind the Savannah School of Art and Design and Ringling, but they were most definitely on the list. At the time, I used money as an excuse to explain my choosing not to apply, but the only thing that truly stopped me from attending any of those three schools was my generally dark attitude and resultant complete lack of hope.
In short, I didn't care at all and when the time to make a decision came, I decided not to decide. I was sabotaging myself and limiting my possibilities because of what amounted to little more than self-loathing. Common to the point of cliche, sure, but it happened and it made a huge diffence in where I would go mentally and spritually over the next ten years. During that ime, I missed out on going to a school that would have excited me, went to work full-time, forgot about school altogether, got my office job and somehow rediscovered a spiritual aspect to my own existence. Eventually the idea started brewing that a return to school would not only be helpful to my career, but a benefit to me as person in a larger context. As the months went on, I realized that it was something I simply had to do. By the time June rolled around, I was absolutely sure.
This is where Fate and Destiny come in. I've come to conceptualize Fate as life's great provider. It presents us with choices, we make our decision and life moves forward accordingly. Not exactly the textbook definition of Fate's role in our lives, but then textbooks are really just guidebooks to help us find our own way. My personal vision of Fate's functionality does not gel well with the principles of Destiny, because of the free will involved. If we are free to choose, our future cannot be foretold, if we are not free to choose all of our choices have already been made and we are doing little more than connecting dots.
The idea of putting so much work into marching toward predetermined waypoints doesn't sit well with me. If that is our reality, then our lots are already cast and our achievements and personal victories, as well as fairlures and shortcomings, are effectively much ado about nothing. I find such an idea completely disappointing. However, there are times that the idea of Destiny seems like a plausible, real thing. Take my ending up an Eckerd student eleven years after the fact, for example. Things couldn't be coming together at a better time.
I'm free from almost all external constraints and find myself very excited about the idea of going back to school. It would seem that all of my choices to this point in life have led me here and a part of me is tempted to believe that it was meant to be. How much value I put in the idea varies by the moment, but the fact that it is there at all is interesting.
Maybe it is Destiny, maybe it is the dictionary version of Fate or maybe it is the product of my decision making and a little dumb luck. Whatever the case may be, I'm looking forward to the unknown. I have the distinct feeling that academia will be a lot more fun this time through.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
I'm officially a college student, Stephen Colbert could be my Jesus
Eckerd accepted my application and my first class will be an orientation on Saturday, August 19th. It's bliss and I'm off the gym. :D
So needless to say, I'm in a great mood. Things have been looking up the past week or so, despite a nagging wrist injury, but this just puts the positive vibes through an amplifier! This is my second chance in so many ways, an opportunity to put right what I got so wrong years ago. The best part is, I know what real work (mental and physical) is all about, so my approach will be better.
Honestly, I've become more and more convinced with time that things happen for a reason and school happening for me now, with my financial and personal situations so stable, is probably a best case scenario. I'm in a position to focus my energies properly and there really is not much beyond school, work and working out that I need to worry about. That realization is so refreshing, I lack the words to properly express how optimistic and excited I feel tonight.
I'm not a fool, or at least not a total one ;), so I realize that things could all change in a minute, that everything could collapse around me, but I have a feeling deep in my gut telling me things will work out well in the end. Life's taken pretty good care of me to date, so I am not interested in questioning it now. Let the return to academia begin! :D
This has nothing to do with the above, but Stephen Colbert is an absolute and total genius. Don't believe me? Check this out. LOL I HATE morning television and seeing Colbert skewer them so openly and aggressively is just awesome! If I were a god overseeing TV, Stephen Colbert would be my messenger to the TV world.
A Life Less Ordinary
This movie has some age on it now, but I still find myself compelled to watch it whenever I happen to cross paths with a TV while it's on...which just so happened to be the case a couple of hours ago.
Starring Cameron Diaz when she was still fresh/attractive and Ewan McGregor before he starred in the second trilogy of Star Wars flicks, subsequently shedding some cool points, the two of them seem to have genuine chemistry. That's all fine and good, but it's the script and delivery that set this one apart from most romantic comedies...a genre I enjoy about as much as a crippling bowel obstruction. What makes this film different?
First, it's actually funny. I laugh when I watch it. That's a definite change of pace for a romantic "comedy". On the rare occasions I have watched other films in that particular subcategory, I usually found myself doing anything but laughing. There's always the classical, literary definition of comedy and in that context maybe some of these flicks succeed, but in the pursuit of funny they are typically non-starters.
Second, it's clever. The premise is unusual, at least in my film watching experience, the storytelling can be downright bizarre and it's full of irrational leaps, but at least it holds my attention! This is a date flick I would not have minded actually seeing with a date. It's weird and quirky and even nonsensical in spots, but that is much more appealing to me than vaguely cute, cookie cutter, rehashed benality. The movie embraces weird and runs with it...I say all the better.
Third and lastly, it's actually entertaining. For the reasons stated above, I find myself entertained by the movie. It's not Oscar caliber and is not the best work from anyone involved, but the movie has a little of everything. It's a mish mash and a mess, which appeals to me on some level. Not a thinking movie, but not outright dumb, just amusing and entertaining.
And really, that's all I ask from ANY movie. Entertain me for fuck's sake! Some friends of mine recently went to see M. Night Shamylan's Lady in the Water, but I refused to go because of the terrible reviews it had been receiving from just about everyone in the free world. Turns out, everyone appears to have been right. People were standing up and leaving midway through the film and one of my friends actually fell asleep. No one was entertained, except maybe the movie's creators, who managed to make a few million bucks during its opening weekend, but I have a feeling even they won't be very enthused now that word of mouth is more or less killing their creation at the box office.
Why is it asking so much that movies be entertaining? Don't get me wrong, entertaining does not have to mean funny or exciting. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is a very airy, artistically filmed movie with no comedic intent or giant explosions or naked starlets to gawk at, but it is well acted, skillfully directed and entertaining. It makes me want to continue watching and while I'm viewing the movie, I am imagining what it would be like to be within the story. In short, it gets my attention and holds it. It's an insane concept, I know!
When I'm paying to see a movie, it had damn well better be entertaining. The last genuine, shitheap of a movie I had the displeasure of seeing personally was The Hills Have Eyes. To this day, I'm wishing I had gotten my money back. It was so awful that I found myself dumbfounded by it's very existence! But there it was, in all its low class, low cost, lowbrow glory. When the most intense part of your film is an inappropriately drawn out and completely unnecessary rape/murder scene, you've got some serious problems. I was never a huge Wes Craven fan, but seeing this remake of his "classic" made me want to kick the man's balls in.
And that's the thing. We pay to be entertained and while I recognize "entertaining" is a word that means different things to different people, some of this garbage simply should NOT be made. Then again, I tend to be a little out of touch, so maybe these are exactly the kinds of movies people want to see. If so, Jebus help us all!
Anyway, getting back to where I started, A Life Less Ordinary was just on one of the cable nets and I was obligated to stop and watch it, despite it being a romantic (dark) comedy. That in and of itself makes it a movie worth checking out.
If you have no idea what flick I am talking about, check out the movie's details on IMDB here.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
And on the automotive front
For the first time EVER, import brands have outsold the Big 3 domestically. Why is that significant? It signals a serious change in the collective mindset of America. As long as I have been alive, the Detroit brands have been making predominantly uninspired cars, suffering quality control issues, lacking innovation and more often than not, coming up way short in the car lust factor. Aside from the Corvette and a few aftermarket/speciality Mustangs and Camaros, there haven't been any domestics I would be tempted to test drive in years, forget about desiring or yearning to own. Apparently, I haven't been the only one.
Twenty-nine years on and things have gotten nothing but worse. The only domestics I have any interest in owning live well above the $50k ceiling, have two seats and are only good for going fast or looking good. I'd love to drive a Corvette Z06, Detroit's only REAL super car, but would joy ride a Dodge Viper, if the opportunity presented itself. Of course, I'd have to be careful getting in and out, as people have reportedly been burned by its tranny tunnel and door sills...you can only ask so much for $70k.
But those two beasts are ultimately irrelevant, as neither of them can keep the domestic ship afloat on their own. They may turn heads, but they are not putting asses into seats, which is what car manufacturing is all about. With lineups like Impala, Fusion, Stratus, etc, it's really no surprise that the import cars are now overtaking their US competition. Camry, Accord, Altima, these are all good cars that sell in huge volumes. They're reliable, practical and affordable, in short they are everything GM, Ford and DaimlerChrysler's mid-market cars should be, but aren't. And the Asian/import market continues to pump out increasingly better cars, while the domestic brands tread water, at best.
It's a shame, but you won't find me shedding a tear. This is capitalism, this is what America is all about. Bring a superior product to market on time, en masse and on budget and you're bound to win the war. Right now, the Japanese are winning battle after battle, it's only a matter of time before they win the larger conflict, barring some drastic change of direction by what's left of the Big 3. Somehow, after all this time, I doubt that is going to happen.
Looking back, it's a tragic thing, because the Big 3 once produced some of the coolest and most desirable cars in the Western Hemisphere. The 50s and 60s Corvettes, the early Camaros, early Cadillacs, the Dodge Hemi cars of the 60s, etc and so forth. I think it's clear to everyone that innovation is out, recycling ideas is in, just check out the coming Dodge Challenger and their constant reminders that this "thing's gotta Hemi" as glaring examples. Old is new in America, while the foreign makes are finding new ways to create "new" over and over again.
I'd love to own and drive a Z06, but Corvette is functionally a brand unto itself. The Big 3 deserve to lose the market share they're shedding and until they wake up to what is going on, things are not going to change.
Check the Autoweek article here for further details.
A little bit o' funny helps the medicine go down
I'll be back with more later...have a couple of things on my mind, but the Daily Sixer has Jimmy Kimmel's latest Unnecessary Censorship #25 up. It's not their best work, but it gave me a couple of chuckles.
Another thing that has given me a few laughs lately is the Dane Cook controversy. If you haven't checked a mainstream blog in the past couple days, the author of redban posted a mp3 comparing Louis CK's material from 2001 to some of Cook's material from 2003. Check the mp3 here. Personally, I am no fan of Cook's, but them I'm outside his target demographic. Everyone under the age of 25 seems to love the guy, but I just don't get his schpiel. He's no Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy was no Richard Pryor. Of course, Richard Pryor was no Red Foxx, so on and so forth, but at least these guys were ORIGINAL. I know people are prone to conformity, but do we have to hear all this hype about a guy who is almost surely stealing his material from a comedian few people could name? Louis CK is a legend inside the stand-up comedy world, according to the various websites and blogs talking about this particular controversy, but he is nowhere near the level of Dane Cook on the name recognition scale. I haven't heard any of Cook's new stuff, but he was making his name in 2003 and 2004, wasn't he? Surely someone should have caught on to what's going on before now. Hopefully this bit of news will make its way around the web and Cook will come under closer scrutiny. Watching him squirm out from under a mountain of evidence, should there be one, would be amusing indeed.
Here's a classic Pryor as Mudbone bit, if you need a genuine smile. And here's one of Eddie Murphy from the Raw era, when he was still funny. Finally, check out George Carlin on suicide...a comedy gem. Warning: All of those clips are longer than a few minutes, but are all worth your time.
Have a laugh and stay away from Dane Cook...that's my prescription for intellectual and spiritual bliss. Your mileage may vary.
p.s. Let me know what you think about the background image. Is it too distracting/annoying behind the text and tables? Don't be shy, I really want to know!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
What's the next big thing thinking about?
I think of myself as a pretty boring guy. Sure, I have my hobbies, but I'm not curing cancer, writing the next Bible or anything of that nature. And the things I spend most of my time thinking about are not going to shake the Earth. Hell, in reality almost everything that cycles through my grey matter is an old or even ancient concept. Not that there's anything wrong with it all per se, but it's not new and bleeding edge. I'm not holding the next intellectual killer app and I'm OK with it.
But there are people out there on the razor's edge of thought. Granted, most of those people are in technological or scientific fields, but they are out there. A modern Galileo or Newton could be amongst us even now. He or she is probably nondescript and relatively anonymous, but that makes their existence all the more interesting to me. They won't recognize themselves as the next big thing until "it" has already happened. Some may hope for it, some may dream of it, but anyone of reasonable mental health doesn't know it until "it" is already reality.
So this world changer gets up every day groggy as Hell and starts the morning the same way you or I might. Maybe they pick their nose on the way to the bathroom or have some cereal while watching what passes for the morning news. Perhaps they scratch their ass before doing that gut-suck-in thing as they pass a mirror in their whitey-tighty underwear, the way people in movies seem to do in order to appear more "real". Who knows! The point is, the people who will one day change the world are very likely as mundane in appearance and stature as the rest of us, so that guy at Taco Bell who looks man-pregnant and is covered in body hair could be our generation's Thomas Edison!
We make gods of our athletes and prophets our celebrities, but in reality very few of them will have a direct impact on the world the way someone like Einstein or Newton did. They make their millions, do their charity drives, etc, but I'm fairly certain none of them are currently seeking a mathematical means of overcoming the limitations of our current space-time continuum.
Of course, in this culture, the next world changer or group of world changers will become overnight celebrities, though given the nature of science and research, that fame might arise years after their initial breakthrough. And I wonder, do they sit around thinking about that?
I mean, is there someone amongst us who is holding the next big thing in the palm of their hands, but currently find themselves stuck doing the necessary verification, detail and publishing work? Maybe the next big thing has already arrived, but none of us know it yet. We're all sitting here, thinking our vision of the world is more or less settled, when in reality this one person or group of people is sitting on something that will turn our understanding on its head.
Funny as it sounds, I can't help thinking how cool it would be to have that sort of knowledge in your hand long enough for it to become mundane. As the world sits ignorantly waiting to have it thrust upon them, you've already moved on to bigger and better things. Personally, I'd like to be a part of that, just so I could be more concerned with something else entirely. Imagine being so far out on the edge that even the edge is old hat...I mean, how fucking cool would that be!!
I should have been a world changer...or maybe I already am! Oh my Jebus it could be me! Nay, it IS me. You there, yes you reading this, bow down before me. You may now consider yourself enlightened...go out into the world and do my bidding! Move! NOW! Hyahh mule, HYAHH!
Monday, July 24, 2006
Pink is the good
I love a hot shower. Not so hot that you're being burned, but as close as the hot water heater and my tolerance for discomfort will get me. It's just so damn cleansing, but there's a proper procedure for taking a genuinly hot shower.
First, I engage in the subtle dance that is the step-in, step-out. You can't just barrel into a stream of steaming hot water, you've got to ease into it. I sort of half step, half duck into the stream, careful not to scald the twigs and berries on entry. This procedure lasts for approximately fifteen seconds, then it's on to the immsersion.
Once I've established that the water is bearably hot, it's time to step full face into the fire. Ahh...sweet, liquid heat. Feel the pores open. Feel the stress literally melt away. Feel the flesh on your face approaching meltdown. It's bliss.
Of course, the body adapts and within a few minutes what was once skin tingling heat feels only slightly warmer than the urine trickling down my leg. Time for more fire! So the cold side goes off altogether and once again the rush of relaxation that can only come from exposing one's naked body to water which is just a hair shy of liquid death comes flooding over me.
By this point, I'm literally pink and as relaxed as I can be. From skin to muscle to brain, I'm free and clear of worry, stress and the running analyses that are my thoughts.
Nothing beats a hot shower when you're several months into a monk mode run of unknown duration. Maybe the problem with the Catholic Church was really more in the plumbing than in their plunging? Bah-duh-bump-psshh
Stress is a merciless bastard
I'm stressed like Barry Bonds' endocrine system lately. Luckily, these stresses are not all negative, as there is the positive and hopeful stress of wanting to start school as soon as possible, but some are detrimental, like my current salary situation at the office. Regardless from whence the stresses come, the effects are starting to show.
My sleep pattern is erratic and I rarely feel rested, even after a full night in dreamless bliss. Concentration has become an issue, as I've felt really scattered and almost frantic at times. Much of that is the result of a pervasive impatience that has been with me since the day I opened my eyes and started soiling diapers, but it compounds in situations where time is of the essence. :) In such situations I'm doing everything in my power to accelerate whatever process I happen to be working on, but there is only so much I can do, so in the end I am often left waiting...fighting the urge to chew through a wall. It's a difficult thing, the "hurry up and wait" thing...I honestly do not handle it well.
Working out helps me deal, but lately even my workouts have been uninspired. Despite a change in my routine, things are still subpar on that front, but I continue on, because I know that I need the release. Tonight I'll be doing a little MMA training after the weight work, which is always cathartic. You can't help but be relaxed after kicking, punching, tackling and wrestling for an hour plus following a one hour weight workout. LOL
It's the zen of activity that spiritualists have been talking about and preaching since the dawn of time. The value of physical work simply cannot be underestimated. Nothing clears the mind like the release of all that physical tension and being that I'm in monk mode and therefore have no naked fun outlet, my only alternative is weights and restricted violence, which in the end is much less complicated, which relieves stress all the more!
So I'm stressing a good one, but dealing as best I can. My hopes are high that the letter of acceptance will pop up from Eckerd today, so that I can get my financial aid/reimburstment paperwork in the pipeline. From there it should, SHOULD, all be downhill. We'll see. ;)
With so much else going on the world, I've got a million things I'd like to write about...maybe later. For the time being, there are a couple of phone calls and a trip to Advance Auto parts to be made.
In the meantime, try blowing off some steam shooting smiley faces with a paintball gun...goddamned smiley faced bastards! Alawys watching, always smiling, always judging...get out of my life...get out of my HEAD!! Die!Die!Diiiiie!!! BLYAARRRGH!!!
MySpace is shyting out and I'm in a mood to write, so...
There's only so much time in a day, but I spent a vast majority of this day in front of my trusty PC. At this point, I'm having trouble concentrating, my eyes are strained and I'm on the verge of babbling, but that won't stop me.
This layout is going to be a constant work in progress. Looking at it right now, I'm not totally satisfied. I've got a couple of graphics on the way, some other ideas for the sidebars and so on. It would appear that my departure from MySpace's limited blogging functions might be imminent and much needed.
There are a lot more toys to play with here. :D
Life seems to be tossing a lot of changes my way lately, both big and small. It would seem that the road is indeed never straight for long. All the better...it keeps me from getting bored. :)
For the time being, check out this vitally important public service announcement: R U Ready 4 Sex?